Workin on my fitness

So this Monday, after 2 hours of sleep Saturday night and then an early morning CrossFitish Supplemental run by me, and 1 1/2 hours of sleep Sunday night(yay for bartending the night shift!), Mary and I ran the Great Aloha Run.  We (literally) passed thousands of people on our run.  No joke.  In a race of 40 thousand people, Mary and I came in 9 thousand something!  Means we beat 30 thousand people!!!!  super sweet.  We ran the 8 miles in style as we zoomed past walkers and made sound effects as we sprinted in between people.  It was fun running on a highway, you'll never get to do that any other time.  It only took us an our forty something, which was awesome considering there were times when we were forced to walk because there was just so many people.  Great time spent with my sister.  And an amazing nap when I got home afterwards :)

Waikiki

Went to Bubba Gump's for lunch today. Not at good as I would have expected!

Game night with my boys

Zane made the game totally himself too! Super creative kid I have here

Blogging about Blogging

A week has gone by and I haven't even noticed that I haven't written.  I think about it sometimes, but I just "don't have the time" or "don't have access to my computer".  Truth is I haven't really been around.  All of my free time outside of babysitting Zane and working at the bar has been spent with Eric.  I'm glad on Saturday I told him I needed a break and uninvited him from the hike I went on with Mary and friends.  One because it was all girls, and two because honestly I don't need to do everything with him.  I forget how used to I am being independent and kind of just living life on my own.  Its so easy to fall into being with someone all the time and letting them take care of you, or planning EVERYTHING around the both of you.  Its even worse when I remember how important it is that I have alone time.  I seriously cannot not have alone time. But how do you explain that to someone who doesn't need that?  Especially when you say, I need alone time, and they are so freakin nice and cute about it that you forget you need alone time and just cuddle up to them instead.  I want things to work out, and last a long long time, but how do you know that is what you really want so soon?  Things zoom past you and you over look others, only to find out a long time from now that those things really bother you and you want to curl up into a corner and cry or pull out all of your hair.  I  don't want to end up like that.  Unhappy.  I'm almost scared of it, and would rather run away now then enjoy the good times that are still yet to be had.
I've been like miserable lately, and that is not because of any one thing. The biggest reason is the bar I work at.  I love being behind a bar. I think its hilarious, and I have a good time doing it.  The hours that I work blow, and I am missing most sunlight hours and working for a total prick.  But the worst part is that a lot of the time I am there alone.  This is not a new thing for me or people that know me, I do not like to be alone for extended amounts of time.  This results in over-thinking and over-criticizing, which results in me being a failure, loser, and undeserving.  This leads to me being unhappy and realizing that I did not move to Hawaii to be at a bar, by myself, in the middle of the day, and not even be drinking.  No joke, I have been there for 5 hours, totally alone.  Boss, cook, nobody.  I am sticking it out because I want a good reference when I move to my next place, and am looking for a bartending job. If I quit I wont get that.  But I don't think I will last there more than another week on the day shift.  The schedule is not up past today, so I am hoping that they put me on the night shift next week, if not, I will be telling them that this is my last week.  Oh well.  I have some money saved up, so its not like I would be totally broke, which I am good at being broke anyway.  Luckily to live here my requirements are to wash the dishes and help out with groceries.  Best deal I have ever seen.  But also it gives me incentive to pass on the love, because one day I will have a friend or sibling in need of free housing, and mine will be ready for the taking.
Its funny, after I type about all of this stuff I don't feel so unhappy anymore.  I'm sitting here with a big smile on my face thinking about this weekend and next Monday and Tuesday.  Eric and I have big plans for Monday night and Tuesday because he has off of work and we want to create something fun for Valentines Day that we missed this past Tuesday.  That day is overrated anyway and totally stresses me out!  Mary reminded me this morning, that even if I do quit Bob's I have much better things to be doing, like sitting at the beach all day catching some sun.  Agreed.  I should  be enjoying those things more before I move to a place that doesn't have any ocean.

This past weekend on Saturday we hiked into the Ka'au Crater.  It was awesome.  There were like 2000000000000 waterfalls, and we climbed up 7 of them til we got to the top and could see the whole valley.  IT was my absolute favorite hike so far, but I didn't bring my camera.  I will be doing it again for sure when Kevin comes in March, and I will bring my really good camera :)

You can't tell how far I am off the ground in this picture, but I muscled myself up this very skinny and awkward tree to get some of the most deliciously ripe Strawberry Guavas I have ever tasted.  They were well worth the climb, and very delicious in my tummy.  There are more pictures of our ridiculousness on facebook, I don't have many pictures because I was using my itouch :(

On Sunday Eric and I went up to the North Shore on his Ducati along the Kamehameha highway.  It was a long ride with big spurts of rain, but very fun.  We stopped for a second to rest, and at that very moment Sara called me, and his mom called him.  Perfect timing for the both of us.  We had lunch in Haliewa at a restaurant called Breakers which was delicious, and then went to lie on the beach in Waianae.  It was cold and rainy and cloudy, but we still went in the water to play in the perfectly sized waves.  The only problem was the pretty uncomfortable ride back on the bike, but our day all together was well worth it.  A hot shower has never felt so good! 
This week I worked on Monday and Tuesday (which is extra) because the other day bartender got married on Valentines Day.  Which is brilliant by the way gentlemen because now you only have to remember one date instead of two, and spend less money on one gift instead of multiple.  Genius!  The only thing that would be better is if her birthday was Feb 14th, because then you would never get in trouble.  Unless you forgot all three, and then I would have to slap you over the head myself.  I  have no idea what my schedule looks like after babysitting tomorrow morning, but hopefully I have a day this weekend to go out and play in the sun with Mary.  Its funny how much I freakin love the ocean, but I barely ever go.  Something is wrong inside this noggin of mine.  Maybe I will figure it out someday.

to be continued...

Predictions for the future

Caught you!

Zane had two weeks to do his report, and didn't start it til we had to leave at 7:15 am. I see this as a window into his future. Even as a second grader.

Prior to me checking his back pack the morning was great. We brought Tyson for a walk and everything.

I'm headed to crossFit at 9 am and then to H and R block to get my taxes did. Later I have to pick up Zane from school. Should be a fun day.

Life the long way

I'm happy to say that I'm at a time in my life where I honestly want time to go slower. I'm finally becoming a half ass bartender so I can feel happier about going to work. My boss(who happens to be one of the biggest tools I've ever met) is constantly degrading me and making me feel like shit at the bar. But this other chick always calls in sick so I've been working a lot of her shifts and now I might get put on the schedule for the night shift which means i won't have to deal with my boss nearly ever. That will be awesome.

Also I've somehow managed to get myself in a situation where I want the whole world to slow down. I love where I am right now and who I've been spending all my time with. Today i didn't get out of bed until after 1. It didn't help that I worked for 15 straight hours at the bar yesterday. Today was my first full day off in 2 weeks, so I took full advantage of it. It's 9 at night right now and I'm already tucked in bed super comfortable. I wish time would stop right now. I love where I am and maybe the most happy I have been in a really long time. It's strange going from being pretty sad last week and almost depressed to now being the happiest I have felt deep down in my chest in a long time. It's funny how things work out. Or maybe how things are planned. I just like where they are and hope they stay here.

Be not afraid of Greatness

This is the new cover photo for my timeline on facebook.  I saw this spray painted on the top of the second bunker at the pillboxes and it instantly caught my attention.  What is it about this saying that I love so much?  I don't consider myself to be great and almighty so everyone should be afraid of me.  I think it is more of an awareness that should be present at all times.  You never really know what you are capable of.  Achieving greater things that you had ever really imagined.  I still can't believe that I made it out of New York.  I feel like I escaped a lot of things that were lingering around me back there.  Its true that I wish I could have brought a few things with me, but its nice to be free of other things.  I miss my friends.  Its cool talking to them on the phone, or writing postcards or to them online, but its not the same. 

I haven't written because I have been busy for one, and two a lot of the stuff that I want to write about is becoming more personal than I was prepared to be sharing with someone that is reading a link that I post on facebook.  But I need to stop being so lazy.  I read an awesome post by a friend who likes to blog, and is crazy obsessed with crossfit and eating healthy.  She was basically yelling about how we need to shape up and actually do the things that we want to do.  Don't be lazy about working out.  If you want to get in shape, or just feel healthier and happier than just freakin do it.  Stop putting it off and waiting for something to happen to you.  You need to make it happen.  If you aren't happy where you are right now, whether its where you live, who you are with, or the job that you're in, then fix it.  Start working on applying for new jobs.  Search for a new place to live.  Start somewhere.  Please just don't complain about it.  It is so important to be happy.  Depression is something that my family struggles with.  I see it in my genetics and it is definitely something that I am scared of.  Sometimes I am just so sad.  There is no reason either. I don't have my period, I am not just being "moody", and I am not just being a big complainer.  I am just sad.  Of course there are things that cheer me up, and I am also good at hiding it.  But I know its in there and I have to fix it. 

Ohhhhhh Monday

So Zane was A real pain in the ass this morning. Made me want to pull my hair out.

But Eric got out of work early, like 8 am so that was nice. We had a long awesome day of food shopping hahahaha I got milk, eggs, and bread.

Had crossfit with Mary and Keysa. It was a great workout because it was for form not time so I felt really good doing it.

Keysa stayed for dinner because Eric wassupposed to be my date but he ended up having to work. I drank way to much wine ( I bought four bottles) and now feel pretty good. Eric came over when he got off work. Maybe we'll go do something fun :)

Long Days at the Bar

Worked Friday all day. Sam came back to base and we tried to make our last night together last as long as possible. I think Sam got 16 minutes of sleep before I had to wake him up to bring him to the airport.
Saturday was the longest day ever. 6:30 am til 3 am I was awake. I worked a double at the bar and it was so not worth it. I'm glad I have Eric to take care of me.
Today was long too. To much bar time. Now Eric and I are watching tv relaxing. He just tortured me for 20 minutes trying to give me a pedicure. What the heck does he know about feet. Ewwwww gross. I fought him off for the most part though.
Babysitting in the morning. Sweet

Ready for work!

Think I'll make tips today? Comment your opinions!

Early mornings with Zane

It's kinda cool waking up and riding my bike here in the dark. It's so quiet outside except for a few passing cars. Friday's are usually a little harder for Zane so I am hoping we make it through in one piece. He didn't freakin finish his math homework again, so that will take an extra half hour or so.
I miss the actual sun rising here because it is blocked by a hill but it's still awesome to see the different colors on the clouds. I usually forget this itouch so I can't snap a good picture. But it's great to be awake for it everyday. Someday I'll have a porch that I will sit on in the mornings and drink my coffee while the sunrises. That's like my life goal. Seriously

I left Sam at home to get some sleep, and I also needed some alone time. Especially after all of my accidents yesterday, I just need to sit by myself and ponder life a little bit.

I work today at the bar. I have a feeling they are going to want me to work a double. We'll see about that because it's Sam's last night. I feel bad he is to young to go out here and we have to somehow get him an id every time. I mean magically acquire and borrow an id. But welcome to America Sam, you aren't legal here yet!

Zane just spent over ten minutes in the bathroom so we are now late for school. Why you might ask? He was playing with this toilet paper roll

Sunrise hikes

The view from Olamana

Yesterday was fun. Sam and I hiked Olamana. It was hotttttttt the whole way up. Sam decided we easily lost 5 kilos each. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful view. It also wasn't crowded. I fell twice on the way home and the second time landed on a bush which was hilarious.

I went to crossFit at night with Mary and Keysa. We got our asses handed to us easily. I cried in the middle, a bit because of pain and a bit because of embarrassment. My right hip has been hurting so super bad still. It's very frustrating and becoming a chronic pain which can't be good. Hopefully I'll work it out just right to make it better.

This morning early Sam, Eric, and I went to see the sunrise. We missed it by a few minutes, but hiked the pillboxes anyway. It was beautiful and quiet. I really enjoyed being up there. On the second bunker someone had slept in their sleeping bag all night. I am jealous and definitely want to do that. It's officially been added to my bucket list. On the way down I was having an important conversation with Eric when both my feet slid right out from under me and I cut open my palm and my pinkie. Oooooo it burned! I told Eric to stop distracting me:) gotta put blame somewhere!

The three of us at the top of the pillboxes

Then Sam and I rented kayaks and went out to the first of the two Moks ignoring the warning not to be there after noon. The wind was super strong and the waves were nuts! We finally made it all the way there and on the last wave my kayak flipped and I went under. The way back was a much better ride, but we left before 12 so I'm sure it could have been much worse. We checked out flat island and then went back to Kailua beach. My kayak once again flipped my on the last wave. But this time a bunch of people saw me and it was shallow so I flattened myself out because I had a feeling it would hit me, which it did, on the back of the head and I cut my knee up pretty bad. My luck is just out there today. And the ocean stole my sunglasses!

Enjoying the morning

Koooooooooooowee

Sam taught me how to make that call today while at Manoa Falls.  K with lots of o's a w and then some e's.  Yup.

Busted Armmmm

Mary was sick this morning so she had to miss school, and I thought I had to babysit Zane at 6, but read my email wrong, so I woke up early for no reason.  After some extra napping all around, we all felt better and decided to go on this "great hike that has a waterfall at the end where you can swim in pool".  Well the hike was cool and fun, up until I fell and busted up my arm a bit down cardiac hill as its known. Then we finally made it to the "waterfall" which was all dried out. On the way back up the massive hill, I was forced to sing as many Disney songs as I could remember as loud as I could so Mary and Sam could keep track of me.  I was pretty far behind and totally exhausted.  I think it is a combination of lack of sleep and working to much on my feet.  The floor at the bar is not right for standing all day.  We need better mats or something.  Yeah, so I sang my face off and thought of Laura Warden because her and I to this day will sit on my couch at home and watch a Disney movie before anything else.  And sing along of course.  I rocked out Lion King, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and Little Mermaid.  I was only caught twice by other hikers, and it was only semi embarrassing.

Mary super peaceful at the waterfall

I learned at 6am that Rob really needed me after school today to pick Zane up from school. I "allowed" Sam to fully entertain Zane with soccer, while I sat on the couch for a hot minute.  It worked out well, especially for Zane who found his new idol and role model in life.


Now we are getting some awesome pizza from a place called Peppino's.  Nate says we have 5 minutes til we leave to go pick it up!  YUM!

Love where you are and you'll make it work

Now that we've been back for a few days I'm not sure how exciting I'll be able to make this post. You see we got back late thursday and I had to wake up early Friday to bring Zane to school. Worked at the bar friday, got hammered that night. Worked basically 11 am to 3 am Saturday. And then 10 am to midnight Sunday. That's way to many hours at the bar for not enough tips. Sam says it would be alright if I actually got paid by the hour like in Australia(20 fuckin dollars an hour! Minimum behind a bar) Here I'm proud to say I make 5 an hour after ungodly taxes. But I'm having fun and should hopefully only be doing nights soon.

Stop Hoarding your Twenties

On day 2 We were woken up to this truck pulling into the campsite that had the bass booming and engine rumbling.  It was 4:30 in the morning and these two guys were blasting some sweet Hawaiian song, on repeat... They fixed something under their hood near the bathrooms and after 20 minutes (of the same song) drove back off into the night.  We could hear them for about 10 minutes because there was not another sound in the distance, not even the birds.
Sam here: It was still wet and rainy so we decided to pack up and make our way south to black sand beach, leaving the rest of volcano national park for later.  Standing in sand formed by a lava flow being pulverized by the ocean was pretty cool.



We continued along the coastline to the southern most point of the entire United States.


We pulled off to the side of the road and snapped some of the only pictures with the both of us in shot, special thanks to the amazing red camera and timer.  Anna was very disappointed that we didn't get photographic proof that we had reached the destination.  There was no sign to proclaim how far south we had made it, however the shear cliffs and clear water were impressive to see.  We followed the weaving paths of the 4WD tracks east, around the coast toward a small boat ramp and car park that marks the start of our green sand beach hike. Anna did very well for her first time driving off road.

I did well?!?!  No I did awesome thank you very much.  I didn't break the car or anything.  Well almost.  Until we made it to the road for the green sand beach.  Then I hit a boulder under the car, and so I decided it was imperative that we turn back.  The road to green sands beach was two miles of dry dry dry sand and heat along the water.  We made it all the way there and saw all of the tourists swimming in this clear beautiful wonderful gloriously cold awesome water, but we decided to turn around and go back.  It was too hot, and hiking back with sandy swamp ass would not be comfortable.  Sam completely hiked through both of his shoes by now, and his feet were SUPER sandy and gross.
This amazing beach came out of no where on the end of this long twisty road.  There were hot water showers because the pipes were exposed the whole way.  It was a great spot, and I wish we could have stayed there to swim and shower more, but it was time to move on if we were going to make it to a good sleeping spot in the middle of the island

Southern most point of the US!

GREEN SANDS BEACHHHHHHH

We drove down the rest of the coast and caught an awesome sun set.  We were just parked in the wrong spot, so there is a tree in most of the pictures.  Our drive continued in the dark for another hour or so, until we made it to the summit of Mauna Kea.  We slept in the visitors center parking lot, in the jeep, looking out at the night sky and into the stars. It was beautiful, and really freaking cold at 4000 feet.

Hungry Tigah

We made it on the plane!!!!

It's day three and we're sitting waiting for breakfast at a nice cafe. Still no Internet but its the first time I'm sitting down without something gorgeous to look at. This trip has been nuts. Our first day we missed our flight because Sam brought his Swiss army knife and so we had to check his bag in order to bring it with us. Because of that we had to wait for the next flight. We watched a beautiful sunrise out the windows. We landed safely and rented the most sexy luxurious pimp ass jeep ever. It was black and sleek for the first day at least.

praying that I actually reserved a car!

Sam's first visit to Walmart, and our sexy jeep

First up, we headed straight for the lava. Volcano national park was free to enter thanks to the public holiday. Always ask the oldest and wisest, the old man in the visitor centre may have talked our ears off, but he knew his way around. Our first hike for the trip was a loop around and through a cooling lava lake. Taking old mates advice we started the trail from the end, taking the reverse route. Starting on the high ground with a great look at what was to come, we followed the trail for the first few clicks. The first junction we met, we headed straight down the wrong path. Wrong turns always manage to lead to the best experiences. We took a much wider loop through the ash covered bush.
Anna found a whole in the ground which was previously a tree that died after being half buried under the volcanic ash. We had stumbled into a gap in the vog which, since we had taken the much longer detour, allowed us to see the steam thrown up by the largest of the current vents.

Anna now... Sam took this awesome panoramic picture of me with the vent in the background. It was upsetting to learn that we wouldn't be seeing any real live lava, but what we witnessed was amazing. Walking across a "lava lake" that was still cooling with tons of little vents all over the place was unrealistic. Putting your hand in the steam was even stranger because it was so hot! We took another retarted detour straight up the mountain and ended up in the middle of the jungle with what seemed as no safe way out. Luckily we could hear cars off in the distance and made it back out to the road safely... Eventually. After that, we did a trek through a lava tube. And then we made our way down chain of craters road and I made Sam get in a crater along the side of the road. We drove through super thick vog. Which was super scary by the way. We made it to the ocean and the end of the road because the 2003 lava flow gobbled it up! So cool. We watched the sun go down and then headed to camp, in the rain, for the night. Good times.