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| Keysa is the one in the middle wearing white, and yes, after 22 miles she is TOTALLY smiling! |
Breathe Deep and Live Free
Breathe Deep and Live Free
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Honolulu Marathon
I will definitely be semi training, but seriously running the next glorious marathon that perhaps happens to come my way. Keysa kicked serious ass today, and it was awesome to be a part of it with her. I ran the last 4 miles with her (which is the most I ran, I mean all I ran, in the last year) So I was surprised at myself that I was able to keep up with her and give her motivation. Super great day full of running around and massive amounts of cheering. Oh! And I was totally able to rewear my spandex from Cassie's wedding for this excellent event! :)
Home Alone
So today officially marks the first time I have been sad since I came out to Hawaii. Some things happened to build up to this, I am not sure if they are blog appropriate information, but they were important enough, or seemingly to me, to make me sad the way I am now.
Boundaries is a good place to start. Why is it so hard for some people to respect your boundaries? I don't get it. Like they think that they can have their own way, no matter what. For example "No, I would not like another beer." "Oh well I am ordering you one anyway." What the fuck is up with that. Like what you say doesn't matter? Of course that is a lame and vague example, and of course I could go much deeper than that, and now that you are reading this maybe you can think of an example in your life when someone has done this to you. What the hell? Maybe you are not good enough. They look at you like you are less than them. Your opinion (on your own life and well-being) doesn't actually matter.
Sometimes it doesn't even matter how extroverted you really are. I understand when shy people get walked on every once in a while. Speak up for yourself why don't you, my dad would say. But even when you do, it doesn't always make a difference. People can be such assholes. Where do you find the people that you can really trust and know that they wont take advantage of you or your feelings? Or the people who wont disrespect your boundaries.
Disrespect. I don't throw around the term respect very often. That is a sacred word to me. How do you know who you really respect, or know who really respects you? That is something I try to convey to my students no matter if I am in the classroom for one day or three months. Respect.
Personal space. Not everything is for you to touch. It took me a long time to learn about personal space and not being to over bearing with other people. I was so used to my big family and how we encroached on everyone else, that I forgot about people who may not have grown up in the same situation. Even just the small things about getting changed in front of people. Shit, I'll change with my door open. Locker rooms? NBD. But does that mean that I am not respecting myself then? By not having the self awareness to cover myself up and not show my butt to everyone in the room? That personal space that other people may feel is being invaded when I'm standing there naked. OK I don't go that far. I try to change as quickly as possible in the locker room, but I don't feel the need to be covered by my towel the whole time I'm doing it. There's this one lady who gets out of the shower and then walks with her towel around her head instead of her body back to her locker, and then sits on her bench naked, and contemplates the world and all of life's problems, and then covers herself with lotion, and then chills a little bit more, and then finally decides to start dressing, but only after she has weighed herself and brushed her hair. No, I do not stare at her, but it just so freakin happened that we were always in the locker room together. Its very hard not to notice someones routine after 10 weeks of this.
Anyway, what was I saying? Ohh right. I'm sad. What the fuck. I somehow managed to make my eggs stick and burn in a non-stick pan for dinner, and then I tripped over the freaking cord to the blow up mattress in my room and fell face first into the bookshelf. Then I got real angry and started crying and cleaned my room and sat down in my chair and fumed for a bit. And now I am here, sad. At least the dogs like me. Titus and Gizmo hang out with me.
Tomorrow at 5 a.m. Keysa is running in the Honolulu marathon and we are going to help cheer her on, feed her, and possibly run a few miles with her. After that I am going to a surprise party with a new friend I made for one of her friends. So I'll be meeting some more people which I'm excited about. Should be fun :)
Boundaries is a good place to start. Why is it so hard for some people to respect your boundaries? I don't get it. Like they think that they can have their own way, no matter what. For example "No, I would not like another beer." "Oh well I am ordering you one anyway." What the fuck is up with that. Like what you say doesn't matter? Of course that is a lame and vague example, and of course I could go much deeper than that, and now that you are reading this maybe you can think of an example in your life when someone has done this to you. What the hell? Maybe you are not good enough. They look at you like you are less than them. Your opinion (on your own life and well-being) doesn't actually matter.
Sometimes it doesn't even matter how extroverted you really are. I understand when shy people get walked on every once in a while. Speak up for yourself why don't you, my dad would say. But even when you do, it doesn't always make a difference. People can be such assholes. Where do you find the people that you can really trust and know that they wont take advantage of you or your feelings? Or the people who wont disrespect your boundaries.
Disrespect. I don't throw around the term respect very often. That is a sacred word to me. How do you know who you really respect, or know who really respects you? That is something I try to convey to my students no matter if I am in the classroom for one day or three months. Respect.
Personal space. Not everything is for you to touch. It took me a long time to learn about personal space and not being to over bearing with other people. I was so used to my big family and how we encroached on everyone else, that I forgot about people who may not have grown up in the same situation. Even just the small things about getting changed in front of people. Shit, I'll change with my door open. Locker rooms? NBD. But does that mean that I am not respecting myself then? By not having the self awareness to cover myself up and not show my butt to everyone in the room? That personal space that other people may feel is being invaded when I'm standing there naked. OK I don't go that far. I try to change as quickly as possible in the locker room, but I don't feel the need to be covered by my towel the whole time I'm doing it. There's this one lady who gets out of the shower and then walks with her towel around her head instead of her body back to her locker, and then sits on her bench naked, and contemplates the world and all of life's problems, and then covers herself with lotion, and then chills a little bit more, and then finally decides to start dressing, but only after she has weighed herself and brushed her hair. No, I do not stare at her, but it just so freakin happened that we were always in the locker room together. Its very hard not to notice someones routine after 10 weeks of this.
Anyway, what was I saying? Ohh right. I'm sad. What the fuck. I somehow managed to make my eggs stick and burn in a non-stick pan for dinner, and then I tripped over the freaking cord to the blow up mattress in my room and fell face first into the bookshelf. Then I got real angry and started crying and cleaned my room and sat down in my chair and fumed for a bit. And now I am here, sad. At least the dogs like me. Titus and Gizmo hang out with me.
Tomorrow at 5 a.m. Keysa is running in the Honolulu marathon and we are going to help cheer her on, feed her, and possibly run a few miles with her. After that I am going to a surprise party with a new friend I made for one of her friends. So I'll be meeting some more people which I'm excited about. Should be fun :)
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