10-24-11
"I felt at the time, and even still now that they are calling me to go
with them. Move on with my busy, moment searching, never stopping to
take a deep breath, life of college and try something new. See the big
picture of life, not only what is bugging me now. The here and now are
very and important, yes, but where are they taking you? What have you
made of yourself?"And travel is what I did. I can't believe that only a year ago I was in Rochester still. Walking to class with Ali, and going straight to the bar afterwards to kick ass at beer pong and darts. I was taking 9 workout classes, rarely working on my thesis, living with two random dudes, and riding my bike as often as possible. I guess this was a good idea to keep track of my year. Its so interesting to look back at what was important to me at the time, and where I was headed.
In that year I covered a few things that I originally wrote about. I certainly flew off with those birds and covered many states in my journeys. I stopped many times for deep breathes, in the mountains, on the ocean, in fields, and even now in my classroom. I have a much better grasp on what my life looks like and what I want it to look like in the future. I have some people who I know for a fact I want in my life, and feel like I am headed in the right direction. I have also made some very bad choices this year, been very depressed at times, and have lost some pieces of me that were very valuable. But that is what life is all about. You live and you learn. Sometimes it just sucks really bad while you're going through it.When I told Adam that I had also been hired by a newly redone middle school on Johns Island, he couldn't believe that I chose the high school that I did. When it came down to me deciding in that kitchen in Colorado, there was just something in me that said to go with the high school. Something pulling me to where I am now. Wow has the last 2 months of my life been hard. I'm surprised I didn't quit, and if it hadn't been for all three of my sisters and their guidance then I would have. But even that is starting to turn around.
I'm starting to really enjoy Charleston now. Catching lots of outside time, and making new friends. I think the last year of my life has been pretty freaking awesome. I was in the Grand Canyon 5 months ago. Now all I have to do is find some glimmer of hope while in class to look for.What have I made of myself? I've made myself into a lady. A lady with a full time job and am getting paid finally what I should be getting. I have health insurance, a big kitchen, and a queen size bed. I'm going into the mountains next weekend with Adam, and then my brother comes the weekend after that. I am independent and strong. I think I finally know where my life is going and that in itself is a pretty big accomplishment.
