Having trouble putting it into words

I've had a very interesting last two weeks.  To say the least.
Finding out who I am, and who is important to me.
Finding out what means more to me, and what I should be focusing on, or spending my time on.

Charleston was great.  I felt like I ruled that place; rolling on interviews and meeting amazing people.
I was offered two jobs.  Like not just offered, but begged to accept the position because they "couldn't let me go".

I found out that I have been 'wasting my time' on something for a while, and allowing my chest to hurt and my heart to ache for 3 months.  Why do I let myself fall into such traps?  In everything I do.  I pour my heart into something, only for it to not be reciprocated on the other end of the spectrum.  The thing is, you have to learn from it, grow from it, and change that small piece to make you into a better person, while not being fooled by someone else.  Maybe in the past you were annoying by calling all the time, and bugging the other person. Well, fix it.  Maybe you were too scared to express your feelings, so you just led them on and let them believe that you still liked them, and instead just hurt their feelings way more months later.  OK, so grow up, and don't do that anymore.  You can't just say, "well, that's who I am, and I do stuff like that." No.  Learn from it, and get better before next time. You don't have to go around breaking hearts or even causing the slightest bit of pain from not being able to properly express yourself.
I know that I am good at leading people on.  I was notorious for it back in the day, but guess what? I don't do it anymore.  I try to open myself up, or at least allow the other person to know where I am coming from.  I can't date right now.  I'm leaving.  How many times have I said that? I actually have lost count.  I feel like I am always leaving.  My great friend Sara once expressed it to me that she felt like she was always leaving people, always leaving home, leaving college, leaving friends as soon as you become close with them.  I certainly feel that here.  Leaving Chelsea, leaving Sam, and most importantly leaving Scarlet.
Now, I am not saying I had my heart broken.  I knew a while ago that things were clearly not working out, and I was not surprised by the way things ended.  But still for some reason it hurt so bad. A pain in my chest and in my stomach telling me that I needed some closure, needed to know where it went wrong.
A lot of great things have happened this summer.  A lot of things I am really proud of, and a lot of people I am really glad to have met and made such wonderful relationships with. I am glad that I made it through this summer and my interviews.  By the way, I felt amazing in my interviews.  I have never felt more proud of myself and the achievements that I have made in the last 6 years.  I guess I didn't realize how many different jobs I have had, and how many kids lives I have touched.  Being able to share my stories of my favorite experiences and have someone tell me that what I have done is incredible is beyond me.  I never thought that a school would be fighting to have me as a teacher. To be offering me extra incentives to choose that school over the other one.  I felt freaking amazing in Charleston.  I can't wait to be there.

I am having a hard time saying goodbye to people here.  I might just peace out.  Not say goodbye, just leave.  I'm having a hard time expressing my feelings towards people, and really telling them how it is and how I feel. I am excited to go home.  I'm excited to see those people at home.  I'm excited to sleep in my bed.  But I am way more excited to sleep in my brand new bed in Charleston.  Its gonna be great