Healthy and Sane

Sometimes we just need help right?  Some accountability for our actions, or just someone to put their arm around you and tell you its ok.  Its one thing to be healthy in body - with respect to eating, weight loss, how you look, blah blah blah, but its another huge thing to be healthy in mind and soul.  How you really feel about something, how mindful you are being with respect to your emotional health.  What you are feeding your body should help to fuel you, make you have a better day, be more alert, and more responsive. Your body is going to look however it chooses to look, its your job to take care of it. 
I've been pretty broke lately.  I have made $20 last me almost 2 weeks now.  Thank God Keysa filled up my gas tank, and I was able to buy some eggs, milk, yogurt, peanut butter, and bananas.  For the last week I was only driving to Hapa sushi and back, and living somehow on a diet of 1 free meal from Hapa and protein shakes (yogurt, milk, ice, protein powder, spinach, peanut butter, and random fruits from the freezer). I'm super skinny now, and can see and feel myself kinda wasting away.  I know its not good for me, but sometimes its just how life works itself out.
But that is the body side of health - I'm more concerned with the soul side of health.  I've been strangely miserable.  Not in a "Wow Anna, are you ok? You seem sad today." kind of miserable, more like I have been crying myself to sleep on occasion, and being super unhappy when I am in the car alone. I have been so stressed about Hapa, and learning that entire 89 piece menu with every ingredient for every item on the menu. Then, at work last night it got crazy busy and someone told me the wrong table number so I delivered a huge plate of sushi to the wrong table, introduced every item, and then they still ate it all! Even though they knew it wasn't there's. Well of course the person who told me the number didn't get blamed, that fell on me instead.  I broke down as soon as I got in the car last night.  I called 3 of my most important people in the world, (who were also in a good time zone) and Jordan, Heather, and Inch all didn't answer.  It made me think about it on my own.  Really figure it out in my head as I drove home with the music off. 
I decided this morning to get my butt in gear and really show them who I am.  I rolled in a bit early for the opening 10 a.m. shift and helped set up.  The lady who I was training with came in at 11:30 and decided it was time to major quiz me on things.  She started flying through Japanese words and asking me what type of fish they were and then rolls asking me to describe them to her.  Like rapid fire fast.  I don't do well under pressure like that, especially  not from a peer.  I shut down.  Suddenly didn't know any of them (even though I totally do). And started crying.  UGH! I hate when I start crying like that.  It always happens so fast and so easily! Well, she cut that quizing shit out and we hit the floor to greet our few tables.  I always do fine at that.  I'm great with the customers, they joke and laugh with me, I slam dishes on the table too hard, I pick things up the wrong way, I stutter when I'm talking sometimes, I spill water when I try to refill glasses, I somehow always drop their credit cards on the floor, and the customers love me. I was planning on taking that ridiculous test on Saturday, and it was just really starting to get to me.
WHY am I spending so much time training and learning how to work at a place that I will only be at for 4 weeks? WHY am I training for over 30 hours a week to get paid less than minimum wage for these hours with no tips? WHY am I working somewhere where the other servers treat me like I'm an idiot and think that their job is some of the hardest things in the world? WHY am I trying to work at a restaurant that is only going to give me maybe 3 tables during lunch and no dinner shifts? Training for over 2 weeks to only get 3 tables, which means about $20 in tips every shift after pay out? No thank you.  Jordan sent me a text message that said "Fuck them, you have your masters and its a damn sushi joint. Do not sweat the small stuff".  I'm so hard on myself, I always have been. This was not one of those time where I should be though.  Not the right place for any of my time and effort.
I worked today from 10 - 2, got a dragon roll for lunch, and went to sit at the bar to enjoy it.  I started thinking about quitting, and how I can just babysit for the rest of my month.  I started feeling so much better. Sweet, sweet freedom.  This was the answer.  I called Heather to clarify, and yes I had made the correct decision, I was ending my short term stay at Hapa.  I was supposed to come back in at 5 to train, but I told my manager I wouldn't make it.  I said (while trying so super hard not to freakin cry) a million thank you's for giving me the opportunity, and training me to be an excellent server, but this (and patted the menu) is just to much, and its not worth it to me.  I got to keep my shirt, my apron, and my book, so that was awesome, and then I had the rest of the night to play with Scarlet, clean, and do Insanity.
It actually was all in the plans though for me anyway I guess.  I will now be watching/hanging out with Scarlet on Mondays and Fridays all day so that the dad can have a break and Sam can feel good about who is watching her daughter. 
Healthy in mind, body, and soul.  I feel much better now.

Crying during TV shows

Maybe its just because I want what they have, or I have watched to many concurrent episodes that I really start to feel for the characters, but I seem to get pretty emotional during television shows.  I don't think that's a bad thing.  It shows I have a little bit of heart, care about some other people a little bit more than myself.  But man, sometimes, especially when they are all falling in love, that is when I really want what they have.  Crazy.  It must be the director/writers fault.  I blame them completely.  They know exactly how to hook me in. 

So I am home babysitting for Scarlet right now.  She is totally asleep, and has been for an hour. I'm so glad I am so good with kids, its gotta be a special knack or talent that I was given, cause boy it is helpful.  We ate a full bowl of peas together while her fork became a train, airplane, and steam boat.  She cheered after every bite.  It must be awesome to be a two year old.

I guess I am also pretty natural at being a server, even at a place as strict as Hapa Sushi.  The last two people I trained with couldn't believe that I don't have any experience, and think I should get my own shifts in no time.  I'm pretty pumped about that. As long as I start getting shifts soon.  I have $20 left in my bank, with 700 in my savings for my security deposit in Charleston.  I can only use my gas to get me to Hapa and back, and other than that I am basically gonna eat as little as possible and hang out near the apartment a lot.  Luckily there is a gorgeous park less than a mile away.  When you are training you don't make tips, and I wont see a paycheck for about another 3 weeks.

I figured out Charleston though, and will be living with an awesome girl names Haley.  She sounds EXACTLY like my best friend from when I was a toddler, Emma.  So I know it is going to be a great match.  I just gotta fax in my lease agreement and then I will be good to go.  Sadly, I can't find a fax other than at Fed Ex and there it costs $3 a sheet (I have 5) so I can't even afford to fax it back right now.  I am thinking that I am going to walk into random office buildings tomorrow and ask them if they will fax it for me.  I bet I could con my way into something sweet like that.  We'll see how it goes.  I can't wait to get off that plane, exactly one month from today.  Not only will I get to meet my new roommate who is so excellently picking me up from the airport, but on Tuesday, after exactly 3 months, I wont have to do long distance anymore.

Testing after your masters

I finished school right?? How come I have to take another test? Oh cause I'm working at a high end restaurant apparently. Well here are just a few of the blank pages of the test I'll have to take. Ugh. I'm making note cards right now. Don't worry.

Figuring out my workouts

I don't want to work out unless I enjoy it.  While some people would say "Ya, Ya, me too" And then laugh/scoff at me, other people would understand. I love working out. When my friends bring me to random classes I almost always enjoy it.  I most always love running. I love yoga, pilates, and spinning.  I love love organized sports.  Now here is my dilemma. I dont so much mind going to the gym and working out alone, but that would mean I would need to acquire a gym membership.  Yoga, pilates, and spinning classes all cost money, or you need to be a member, I'm broke.  Running is free, but it can get pretty repetitive, and I tend to push myself to hard and re-injure my feet from college.  I really miss crossfit, but I am going to have a tough time going to that with out Mary. I was talking to Jordan about this last night.  No offense to anyone, but I started going with Mary, and it was awesome, and so great, and I don't think I wanna do it out here without here.  I would be nervous to go in by myself.  And once again currently I am broke... CrossFit costs mucho dollores.
I just need to get out of the apartment when I am here this summer.  Its not that I don't want to, but I get locked out if I leave the main door downstairs. I gotta get myself a pair of keys.  Like yesterday, I didn't have to leave for work until 11 and I was up way before 8. I wanted to go do a workout outside, or a run, but I would get locked out.  While I could have done yoga or similar things inside, I instead made excuses for myself and sat right here on the couch, blogged, and found a sweet apartment with a really cool sounding girl. I need to not allow myself to do that.  So when I get off of my blogging train today, I am going to do a workout inside.  I can do that, I really need to also. My back hurt super bad yesterday at work, and I can promise that is from not doing anything active since Thursday.
What I would really really love to do is when I move to Charleston in like 7 weeks (Yikes!) I want to start boxing.  I think it would be sweet, and I probably have some underlying anger inside me. Definitely want to do some kick boxing.  I know I will be able to go with Jordan to the gym. So I just gotta figure out a schedule.  Oh! And sign up for a dang volleyball team.  I have my volleyball here, so now I just need to get ballsy and go up to people who are playing at the park and ask to join.  I've been shy about that for some reason, needs to be fixed!

Working another double today at Hapa. mmmm more free food!

Ass Back Home

Open this to listen to while you read :)  I really want to learn how to sign this whole song, but they rap to fast!

I have a job interview July 16th in Charleston, SC, and another one lined up for sometime that week :) It is for a high school math teacher, which is what I originally went to school for.  A regular Ed classroom though.  I really want to teach in sign language, to awesome deaf kids, but I guess that will have to wait.  Its more important for me to get my foot in the door, get in the district, and then search out the job I want for next year.  What they do in most districts is take all of the applications for teachers that are already working in the district and need to be moved around, or want to be moved around first, and interview them for all available positions.  Then they start considering new applicants.  Since I am a new applicant, new teacher, and do not have my SC license, I am the last on the list.  Luckily this place seems to really need math teachers.  So I have to do a damn good job this year, and hopefully will be a shoo in for an inclusive deaf classroom next year.

I have been emailing people about apartments like crazy.  Its not so expensive to live down there, so hopefully food wont be either! I originally wanted to live alone, but I think it would be better for me to live with some girls (pray for drama free and clean) to be able to make friends faster and not get super lonely.  I think it would be awesome to be able to walk around in just a towel and cook in my underwear, but that will just have to wait til later! I'm excited though because I know I am going to have a blast down there, and get to walk the beach again.

I start today at Hapa Sushi.  I'm actually really nervous.  I laid out my clothes/uniform last night and have everything ready to go.  I train for a whole week at all of the different positions and have to take a super long test at the end! Crazy! They give you a blank menu and you have to write all the names and ingredients down! Its like 5 pages! And you have to know the Japanese for a lot of it too!! I have to work 3 doubles this week and then one more on Sunday and then I take the test.  I'll only be working there for a little over a month, so this will be interesting! I hope I make some good money though, I am pretty darn broke right now.

So last night Sam and Chelsea left me home alone while they went to Jazz in the park (my stupid dumb ass back hurt so I didn't go).  What happens when you leave Anna home alone? She cuts her own bangs.  Now I had side swept bang things that I used to cut myself in college, and they were cool and all, but I always looked so young and kinda snotty. haha I think I had normal bangs when I was super little, and I probably cut those myself too... Well, I decided I needed to do something new on Saturday, had to make a change to help me deal with other stuff, and bangs was the answer! I watched a youtube video and then cut away.  Now my hair looks even white/blonder, making me look even more like a tow head :)

Mission Impossible *A Two week trip to the Rocky Mountain, Grand Canyon, Arches, and Back*

So about 2 weeks ago Keysa and I left to start our adventure, and her vacation time. The first stop we made was in Rocky Mountain National Park.  We set up camp and quickly realized that our tent had no poles, so we rigged it up to a tree in our site.  We met two awesome guys who were camping near by, and ended up giving us the rope to secure our tent. We hung out at their site drinking some beers and talking about life.  One was a firefighter and just the right age for Keysa, and I tried to hook them up, but you can only do so much being the youngest. Its not my fault he didn't utilize the fact that I gave him her number!

We stayed for a night and did a sweet hike on the bear lake trail up to about 12,000 feet where there was lots of snow.  The original plan was so to hike Greys and Torreys the next morning, but at 14,000 feet at the peak it would be way too cold! And snowy! So we changed direction and decided to drive to some Hot Springs, on recommendation of the firefighter.
We rolled into Hot Sulfur Springs and realized very quickly that it was one of the sketchiest places we had ever been to.  The springs were basically straight out of the 70's and clothing was optional after 9 pm.  It also was like $18 just to get in, so we thought maybe we would just set up camp instead. We couldn't figure out where to pay and went to ask a fellow camper. Creepiest man ever, the first words out of his mouth were "Sexy Legs..." Eww  He was holding a glass of "orange juice" and had a monstrous beer belly.  We escaped from there pretty quickly, and headed for Steamboat Colorado where there are even better hot springs.  We managed to find a sweet campground with a fox that kept walking through our site and didn't have to pay.
We went to the Strawberry Fields Springs the next day, and were accompanied only by old people, asians, and couples.  Quite the experience.  At least we got to get our hair wet, it had been 3 days... 10,500 feet definitely gets to you after a little while and starts to make you feel funny, so we started on our way back to Boulder and got to Kate's by 9.  Perfect timing.
I went to the Bon Iver and Feist concert on Thursday night, which was totally amazing.  Bottles of wine in the parking lot with Heather and Jen, it was a great experience at Red Rocks.
We left the next morning for the Canyon. We stopped to get a real tent from Dave's parents house, this one had poles. Then stopped in C Springs to see Alec who just arrived! YAY.  Now for a 12 hour trip... We tried to find camping that night, but every where we stopped was super ghetto or creepy.  We ended up sleeping in a Walmart parking lot in Durango, not so bad.  We debated setting up the tent, but decided that may not be safe enough.
Saturday we started early after a brief stop at a coffee shop, and me launching one of our coffees off my trunk.  We made it to four corners, which connects Colorado, Arizona, Utah, and New Mexico at about 11, and had a blast there.  I think most people just stop in, but we stayed there for a while taking pictures, meeting sweet old guys (one was a bio teacher for 16 years and then up and quit to move to Denver because he had had enough!), doing a 4 Corners WOD, and buying sweet jewelry.  Four corners was definitely a great experience.

An Elk waiting for the mens bathroom!

We made our way to the Canyon which was only about 3 hours further.  Its so wonderful  and breath taking there.  My favorite part was how quiet it was at our campsite even though there are so many other people around.  Its like everyone just knows to be quiet.  We did the Hermits Rest hike which was about 5 miles total to the springs we went to and back.  And in the morning went and got backcountry permits to go down into the canyon along with a campsite.  We met two guys on the bus back to our campground, and that night ended up staying up way to late with them laughing around the fire and hula hooping/jump roping under the full moon.

We had to be up at 5 to start our hike into the canyon so we could catch the right bus to the trail and get some distance before the sun became too strong.  We should have woken up at 4... The difference in degrees was about 30 degrees more from the top of the canyon down into the middle.  Holy Lord I was sweating my butt off.  We finally made the 7.1 mile down the South Kiabab Trail hike down to our campsite after about 5 1/2 hours, and a little bit of rest.  It was so ridiculously hot at the camp, about 114, and all I wanted to do was sleep.  I laid down in the tent on my sleeping bag and basically just sweated on it for hours and got a bit of rest. Then I laid in my hammock and tried to read, but finally fell asleep for a while. Keysa hung out in the freezing cold stream, brilliant idea.  When I woke up I sat down in it and dunked my head in and it felt so good! I just continuously got my hair wet for the rest of the day and after a dinner of tuna and avocado we finally fell asleep.
We woke up at 4, an hour late, packed up, and headed out of the canyon.  We wanted to get as far as we could up the 9 mile Bright Angle Trail before the sun came on to strong at 5:30.  We granny shuffled our butts up the trail for a full 7 hours, and finally reached the top when it was still morning. We got our heads wet the whole way up, so at least we looked presentable, we were on day 5 of not showering... We had the car packed already and ready to go, so we headed out for Arches National Park. Keysa slept the 6 hour drive up, while I listened to a book on cd and surveyed the beautiful scenery.
We got an awesome campsite near the water, and paid $12 for two nights. Wednesday morning we woke up, hit up the central market, bought some steak, shrimp, vegetables, and post cards. We used the parking lot for our own personal training room, and were photographed by a sketchy guy who told us we were "sexy". Yikes!  We kept our food super cold all day in the truck by wrapping it with blankets like my mom taught me.

Cool Cool! Again!

Arches National Park is amazing. We did a great 4 mile loop hike to see the Double O Arch and climbed on top of it to form our own arch doing back bends. I was doing for a picture with Keysa and these Asians saw me and yelled "Cool Cool! Again!" So I made Keysa do it with me so we could get a great picture!  That night at our campsite we met two guys from Boston.  Two super tall guys, one was 6' 3" the other was 6' 7"! After we made dinner we went over to hang out with them and sat around the fire for hours laughing and making them talk in their "library voices".
The next morning they came over for breakfast and we had a gigantic feast of left over steak, eggs, and bacon.  The bacon destroyed the pan that the boys brought, so we didn't actually end up eating it. We went to wash off our dishes in the stream and found this fantastic wall of rock that had old petroglyphs on it.  Sadly a bunch of stupid kids had carved some of their own initials into it also. The sign explained that back in the day, to get to higher ground, the men would put logs into a large crack in the wall in a diagonal pattern and use them to climb up.  Well this 5 foot deep, 50 feet tall crack that we found with logs in it seemed possible to climb up and it was obvious that others had done it before us.  We had the boys go first, with Keysa third, and me pulling up in the rear.  One of the logs I needed to reach didn't have anywhere for me to put my feet so I actually did a full muscle up to get up onto it! Super sweet.  At the top, the very last one, I pulled myself up, and got my feet up there, but was off balance with my big booty sticking to far out behind me. I started falling backwards, and in one of the absolute scariest moments of my life thought I might not make it. Out of no where, Jim stuck out his hand and grabbed mine and pulled me up.  I couldn't believe it, my heart was super pumping.  The way back down was very intense also.  I went second to map out a path for keysa, and was definitely in some very scary and sketchy positions at moments.  I made it with Matt, the super tall one, giving me a hand.  We walked back to the car and said good bye to our new adventurous friends, as they were headed to Yosemite, and we were headed home.











 What seemed like an impossible mission, traveling all over the place in two weeks, sustaining, not fighting, having a blast, and making WHAT?!?! poses all over the place turned out to be a blast.  I'm so glad Keysa flew out to travel with me.  And that I made enough money bartending at Bob's to finance myself. It was super fun, and I hope more people have the chance to camp in random areas, and hike down into the Grand Canyon with super heavy packs on their backs and not enough sleep :)