"Find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they miss you. Someone who knows that you're not perfect, but treats you as if you are. Someone whose biggest fear is losing you. One who gives their heart completely. Someone who says I love you and means it. Last but not the least, find someone you wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and your gray hair but still falls in love with you all over again."

The final post

Well its been a year.  Over a year actually.
I leave this blog with a reflection: Did I accomplish what I set out to do this year? My goal was to find a larger part of me, to figure out more about who I am, and how I can be successful.

I highly recommend reading the book "Into the Wild" and/or watching the movie.  Take that motivation and do something with it.

From Rochester to Hawaii.

Hawaii, Amazing Hawaii.
From Hawaii to Colorado, which brought a trip across the country, through Utah, Arizona, and the Colorado Rockies.




From Colorado to South Carolina.

I've been really sad lately. It began in September when I realized teaching was not what I was expecting it to be. Its hard to explain working in a school where literally 95% of your students do not want to be there, and are being forced to be in school because of the courts. Either because they have been in trouble with the law or because their parents are facing charges. So hard to explain this experience.

I made some changes though and spend a lot less time at school, and am managing my time more effectively.  Day by day I am making it through, and am looking forward to the job I will be in next year. My first goal of 2013 is to secure my teaching position for next year.  I plan on speaking with a few principals and making it happen as soon as possible.

This amazing experience happened this evening.  I felt pure undeniable breath taking happiness. A wide smile spread across my face, and I was content in where I am and what I am taking on in life. I know I can do it and make it through.  Even though much of the time I think about quitting and running.

I leave with this final thought.  This year has brought me a lot of joy.  A lot of amazing memories and times with some of the greatest people alive.  There is so much joy and happiness in the world, are you reaching out for it?  I wasn't for a while there.  I made some mistakes this year and some wrong choices that have created some holes that I still need to fix. I have no regrets in life. Everything brings me to where I am for a reason. Sometimes I think that I am here to inspire people.  I step into someones life, spice it up a bit, remind them how to be alive, and then leave them to their own self workings. I have loved and lost due to this, but I would not give any of it up for the world.  The thanks I get is worth it to me, and I hope I can continue to be me; the real me. I always know when my full bodied self is not present, and it makes me sad.  How do I keep myself on my path?  This year will be about me maintaining this path and taking the larger steps to get somewhere on it. Find the joy in today, see all the happiness and grab it.  Take hold of it and don't let go.

Please comment about the past year of my saga of Imagine Your Life Now.  Tell me if it made any sense to you, motivated you in any way, or peaked your interest.  Anything really. I would really like to hear your thoughts about it.  Of course I am already thinking of the new beginning I will be creating in the next one, so any modifications to be made should be noted. <3

Something has to keep my mind off school

I am so glad I can read a map and figure out where I am, even when I'm on the top of a mountain in the Smokey's

Its Thursday morning, and I am more than excited about it being Thursday and almost Friday.  Thursday has always been my favorite day of the week because Diagnosis Murder used to be on at 8 on CBS and my mom would always let me stay up and watch it.  Then that show got replaced by CSI and that was my favorite show for years. 

The other good thing about it being Thursday is that Andrew and Emily come tomorrow!! This weekend is going to be so packed with stuff its ridiculous.  We made an itinerary, and I don't think there is sleep time allotted.  Adam told me last night that he has the whole weekend off, so I'm pumped he'll be able to hang out a bit during our adventures.

I am looking big time into switching schools for the Spring.  Send me all of your good vibes and luck.  Something is going to walk my way, I know it!

Land of the Mid-Day Sun

Almost done with our 7 hour drive back to Charleston. As soon as I'm done writing this I'm going to call and order chicken wings to pick up on the road to my apartment. Adam made an amazing chili that was in the crockpot all day Saturday, and I sneakily put some in a Tupperware to bring home before it was all gone, so we'll have that to eat too.

This weekend was awesome.

Friday at 3:15, just before the bell rang, I was already packed and ready to go. I heard the bell and literally was elbowing kids out of the way down the hallway to get outside where I knew Adam was waiting in my car. We booked it out of downtown and had to make a quick stop to get me a new headlight before picking up the highway. 6 hours later, after 2 stops to pee and 1 to fuel up, we finally made it to the dirt road that the cabin was on. There was a few towns on the way that had gas for 2.99, but of course when we swore to stop at the next one it was 3.49, and didn't go down after that. The dirt road the cabin was off of was the skinniest road I have ever been on with absolutely no shoulder and tons of potholes. But, after a mile in the dark we made it safe and man was it a beautiful sight. The moon was perfectly glistening off the lake. It was amazing.
We woke up at 6 the next day and made some awesome coffee in the French press, took some killer photos, and then went out in the canoe for a relaxing trip on the lake. There was an awesome echo when you would talk louder than a whisper once you got in the middle. So cool.
The whole group went on a hike up to a fire tower about a mile and a half on the Appalachian trail. I had found the hike and the whole time we were just trecking through the woods I was very nervous that it was going to be lame at the top. We were with a few people who had never hiked before and were a bit out of shape, so I needed it to be worth their while. Three didn't make it and turned around about three quarters of the way. I got more than lucky because at the top you were able to climb the fire tower and it was the most amazing view of the mountains that I have ever had. A little bit better than Overlook mountain, and similar to being on top of Ola Mana. It helped that we had perfect weather. Perfect clear skies.
Today Adam and I left early so we could start heading back and make some stops on the way. We found a pull off for the dry falls which is a waterfall that you can walk under and not get wet. Then a bit farther up the road we found an excellent hike up a mountain called white side mountain. Unbelievable at the top. Those photos should be great when I get them off my camera. It was super windy up there so I was in heaven. It reminded me a lot of Ku'li'ou'ou.
I miss my sister a lot. I've been thinking maybe this summer I should go back to Hawaii for a week. I think that would be good for my soul.
Almost back in Charleston. Just graded a bunch of tests. 9 out of 11 kids passed. Not bad. Or I'm just an easy grader:)
One full week of school and then my brother will be here with Emily. Then I'll be going back to NY with them. Crazy how fast time goes when you're happy.

A Year Goes By So Quickly

Before you begin reading this, let's go back a year and see what I have to say.
10-24-11

"I felt at the time, and even still now that they are calling me to go with them. Move on with my busy, moment searching, never stopping to take a deep breath, life of college and try something new. See the big picture of life, not only what is bugging me now. The here and now are very and important, yes, but where are they taking you? What have you made of yourself?"

And travel is what I did.  I can't believe that only a year ago I was in Rochester still.  Walking to class with Ali, and going straight to the bar afterwards to kick ass at beer pong and darts. I was taking 9 workout classes, rarely working on my thesis, living with two random dudes, and riding my bike as often as possible. I guess this was a good idea to keep track of my year. Its so interesting to look back at what was important to me at the time, and where I was headed.

In that year I covered a few things that I originally wrote about.  I certainly flew off with those birds and covered many states in my journeys. I stopped many times for deep breathes, in the mountains, on the ocean, in fields, and even now in my classroom. I have a much better grasp on what my life looks like and what I want it to look like in the future. I have some people who I know for a fact I want in my life, and feel like I am headed in the right direction.  I have also made some very bad choices this year, been very depressed at times, and have lost some pieces of me that were very valuable. But that is what life is all about.  You live and you learn.  Sometimes it just sucks really bad while you're going through it.

When I told Adam that I had also been hired by a newly redone middle school on Johns Island, he couldn't believe that I chose the high school that I did.  When it came down to me deciding in that kitchen in Colorado, there was just something in me that said to go with the high school.  Something pulling me to where I am now.  Wow has the last 2 months of my life been hard. I'm surprised I didn't quit, and if it hadn't been for all three of my sisters and their guidance then I would have. But even that is starting to turn around.

 I'm starting to really enjoy Charleston now.  Catching lots of outside time, and making new friends. I think the last year of my life has been pretty freaking awesome.  I was in the Grand Canyon 5 months ago. Now all I have to do is find some glimmer of hope while in class to look for.


What have I made of myself? I've made myself into a lady. A lady with a full time job and am getting paid finally what I should be getting.  I have health insurance, a big kitchen, and a queen size bed.  I'm going into the mountains next weekend with Adam, and then my brother comes the weekend after that. I am independent and strong. I think I finally know where my life is going and that in itself is a pretty big accomplishment.

Walks in the sun

Its crazy how one good thing can happen, and then everything else just seems to fall way more into place.  I met someone really really awesome at that wedding last week with Haley, and everything just has taken its own course from there!!  I guess dressing in my sisters dress, putting on makeup, and straightening my hair worked out.  Plus the fact that I rule at dancing is always a bonus.










I also got to hang out with my mentor from school outside of school and I found out that she is super awesome!! And she does crossfit and eats paleo!  So super cool. She's totally someone that Keysa and Mary would love to have with them out in Hawaii, now I just have to convince her to start wearing knee socks... 
I'm house sitting for her this weekend so I will have a place to myself to hang out and a super awesome dog to take for walks and play with.

At soccer on Wednesday night I was told that I have to start wearing real soccer shorts.  Apparently my spandex are not cutting it. hahahahah that amazing.  I've never been told that before, but I really like playing, so I guess I will have to switch it up!

Last night I went to this huge Halloween festival called skinful.  Everyone gets super dressed up in crazy different costumes that I would never think of. I went with that new really awesome person that I had met, and he and I mostly just observed everything.  He helped set up, so he had an artist pass so we got to go back stage and get in all of the VIP tents.  The costumes out there were amazing!!! So many awesomely dressed up people.  I just had on normal clothes because I was unprepared, but I was warm!! The music was great though, and it was fun being at something new and getting my mind off my job.

Today we went for a long walk down the bike trail and out to the water.  We got to talk about all of the walks of life and I am finally starting to look up again.  Its nice thinking positive and having a positive attitude again.  Getting compliments at school helps too.  I was told by two people from the district that it looks like I have been teaching for years, and they really have been so they should know.  So cool.  Makes me feel more comfortable, like I am doing something right. I'm glad I didn't quit when I wanted to so bad.  No hurricane here.  I am now officially 25% done with my first year of teaching and holy crap was that first quarter very tough.  I am thinking about the possibility of staying here for the summer though and scoring a sweet job in the sun.  It could be awesome!

Pre-School Posting

Something positive: I somehow managed to make my coffee taste just like mom's this morning.  So super good, and so much better than every other morning that I make it.
Something negative: I cried during 4th period on Wednesday
Something positive: Thursday and Friday were better. Just slightly less suck

I went with my roommate to a wedding on Saturday which was super fun.  We got all dressed up and set off to Quinoa only about an hour or so late.  I'm not sure how it happens, but my roommate takes longer than anyone I have ever met to get ready.  The reception was super fun. Outside, on a river, in a field of flowers, under a giant tent, but the dance floor was still soft.  There was a band and a dj, and after the sun went down I got to do some serious star gazing.  I danced like a champ to some good old music with a few different partners, one in particular who was very good.  I was told how awesome my dress looked, (Thanks Mary for leaving it in Saugerties after Arin's wedding!) and my hair looked great too.  The night did not end well with some interesting turn of events and then I took a cab home.
Yesterday went by way to fast.  I woke up and sat outside on my porch wrapped in my blankie drinking coffee while talking to my friend Dan in Colorado who was out camping.  I figured if I was outside in the 'chilly' weather then it would be like I was there with him. I did an awesome workout with this guy from my apartment complex who I have been hanging out with a lot.  He wants to get back in shape and loves to play sports, but I don't think he realized who he was dealing with when he agreed to workout with me.  We motivate each other really well though, and warm up and cool down with frisbee and soccer. There was even soccer as part of our work out.  I'm sore all over today, so I know he must be hurting.  I spent the middle of my day planning, and the end of my day grading papers.  The weekend just goes way too fast.
A part of yesterday I spent just in a really terrible bad mood. I kept feeling like I was going to cry, and I just really missed a few things about being back up north.  I do like it here, but I don't know how long I'll make it.  A teacher said to me on Friday "Don't tell me you're going to be a 'one and done' " Well that made me feel guilty.  I am procrastinating going to school even right now.  Even though I have at least 45 minutes of work to do, but the bell for first period is going to ring in 45 minutes.  I still have to brush my teeth and stuff too. 
I wish I wasn't sad.  I want to cheer up. I know it will get better, but it doesn't feel good until it actually does get better.  Oh well.  Here's to the last week of the first quarter.

The Tennis Court Lights Turn off at 10:35

Last weekend was really great.  I spent the weekend in Orlando with Kevin Speer and Laura Kelly riding awesome roller coasters at Universal Studios. If you checked out my FB at all, then you definitely saw some terrified Anna pictures.  Yikes! It was so great catching up with them and getting a sufficient amount of hugs from them through out the weekend. On my drive back up on Sunday I stopped in Hilton Head to see Meaghan, an old friend from Brockport.  That was also great to see her, and she hard core tried to convince me to move down there closer to her. I loved the town and was definitely considering it.  But I know deep down I want to move back up North.  School this week was rough, just like last week.  My students don't care, talk while I am talking, and walk out/flip out/are totally whacked out, and I know for sure that I am done with being in that environment.
Waking up one morning this week though, I read an awesome message on facebook from someone who I look up to very much.  It was a long message that they wrote at about 2 a.m. after waking up from a dream.  I am supposed to be here at this school, there is a reason I am going through this and getting thicker skin and learning to be with these kinds of kids.  There is a reason.  I keep reminding myself of that while I am on the verge of crying during school, I just need to remember that there is a reason I am there, and it will be shown to me in the end. It will be worth it.
I've finally started working out more again.  That is really nice, and I have found a great workout buddy too.  We played tennis and soccer yesterday, and today did a mini crossfit workout, but I am so out of shape, that was really tough.
Soccer on Wednesday nights has gotten better too.  I'm starting to play like I did back in the day, and my skills are slowly coming back.  I am really thankful I have that soccer team. Its the one big thing I look forward to every week.
I have gotten really good at leaving earlier from school also.  I am doing basically the bare minimum that I need to do in order to be a teacher and do a somewhat effective job in the classroom.  Maybe I will even start working on the 25 things that I will have due at the end of the year for being an induction teacher... Probably not.
Here's to another week of teaching - keeping my job strictly from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. and not any later. To eating lunch and breakfast.  Taking the time during third period to do one thing for myself. Working out after school 3 days this week and actually learning how to play tennis. Making at least 2 real dinners and maybe even baking something!  You never know, This week could be awesome.

Handling It

So here I am at 6:22 in the morning, blogging in the dark.  Normally I would have already have left for school by now, or would be running back inside to brush my teeth and put on deodorant which I somehow forget to do almost daily.  But this morning I just don't feel like going to school yet.  Yes, I need to go make copies, re-setup my seats for first period, and write a whole bunch of junk up on the board that the state department requires (which just takes up all of my board space and annoys me). Oh! And I have morning duty and lunch duty today which totally cuts my day shorter by a lot, and I have kids taking tests after school today too.

Back to the reason I am here, on a Tuesday morning instead of the weekend.  This weekend was really nice and relaxing.  I worked out finally! Haley and I went for a 3 mile walk Sunday morning too. I got to enjoy the beach and play some frisbee with some new friends that I made. And I kicked major ass against all guys at Can Jam.  I got all of my lesson plans done Sunday night which was great, and I am totally ready for this week with worksheets, but not enough hands on crap because my students can't handle that stuff.  Sucks to be them. 

But for some reason I woke up this morning and am just really unhappy.  I'm not happy with something in my life.  Ugh.  Puts me in the wrong mood for school.  I just wanna be bubbly fun Anna that jokes around with kids and is excited about learning.  Right now I spend about 30 minutes out of 90 each class "waiting" for my students to shut the hell up so I can teach something. haha Ok I need to just enjoy it more.  I need to look for reasons to laugh instead of waiting for those reasons to show up.  I need to find a kid each class that wants to learn and teach them something bad ass.  I got this.  And then when this year is over I am quitting and moving to a new school.  Prefferably a deaf school since that is what I went to school for anyway.

I was talking with my mentor yesterday, (I had to find my own mentor because the district decided to forget about me.  She is this bomb lady who works in the district office that I met during a meeting she was leading one time) Well she told me yesterday that she has worked in several title one schools, ghetto schools, all black schools, schools in the projects like mine, and she has NEVER again experienced a school like Burke.  It is one of a kind and I should not beat myself up for doing as poorly as I am doing cause guess what?  I'm doing better than the 5 other math teachers that quit last year that couldn't handle it. 

100 is going a little far, but yeah, he has the best average....

Thank God for Good Roommates - Analyzing My Life

Seriously I am so lucky to have met Haley (even if it was through Craigslist).  She's really supportive and is always ready for a good conversation about how much we hate our jobs and would like to switch professions (she's a paralegal). We have a great time on the weekends, meet new people together, go to the beach, and watch episodes of Law and Order SVU. She also just gave me a bunch of nice hand me downs. Just pretty much freakin awesome.

An update on School.
I guess I never put two and two together until recently, but talking to my three sisters has really helped me put some major things into perspective.
I move way to much
The grass is always greener on the other side, so I move
At almost every place I have lived, I have been teaching high school
At every place that I have lived where I taught high school, I have been pretty much miserable.
Not miserable with the place that I am living, but with my job.
I continue to teach high school math, even though from my track record I have clearly been unhappy at each job.
Hilton, New York - Brisbane, Australia - Colorado Springs, Colorado - Santa Fe, New Mexico - Charleston, South Carolina.
That is 5 different City/States where I have been totally unhappy with my line of work.  Wait a minute, its not the place that I am living that's the problem, its my job! Maybe its me that's the problem, but lets be serious, I probably should not teach high school anymore.

So at Burke, I am basically a babysitter.  My students don't stop talking for even a minute and I can't handle it.  They are basically walking all over me, and I am doing nothing really to stop it. Its funny, I'm kind of just over it. I really wanted to quit again on Friday. Its interesting how overwhelmed I get at school. Or how overwhelmed I get in life in general. I am going to hang on until the end of the year at this school though.  It would be a terrible life decision to give up one month in. But hey! I made it a whole month. Only 9 left! I can do this.  And the Spring will be easier.  Fuck this school.  Sorry for the language, but screw caring SOOO much about the kids that don't give a shit at school.  I need to focus on the few that do care and pay more attention to them.  The only way I am going to make it through, is to make it through.  I can do this! Just think about today as my sister Angela said this morning.  Day by Day and then I will get there.  My next day off is October 26th.  Day by Day until then, and then the next thing I know it I will be seeing family for thanksgiving.  Time to go play outside with Haley, and then make a collage of our pictures so far :)

Not Giving Up

 I just sent this message to two of my dearest friends from New York who do not know each other. I had planned on writing something totally different for this entry, but then after I wrote this, it kind of summed it up for me in a much more Annaesk way. I hope everyone out there can relate in some way, and that you too have a support system going that never lets you give up, and keeps you going strong.


Dear _____ and _____
So I was just thinking, and procrastinating starting my school work, and updating my blog... But anyway, I was thinking about how awesome you both are in life in general and what you do. And how you are both amazing photographers who are trying to get gigs set up and actually get your work out there. And you both live in New York (where I will never be moving back to by the way). And you maybe need a support system, or maybe just someone who is going through the same hard times as you, and maybe has some advice or has heard of something that the other person might be interested in. OR maybe you could become friends and start something awesome together, and then be awesome at it, and do awesome things, and make awesome art (for me of course to put on my wall since it is white and boring and you both know that is not my personality at all).

But basically what I am saying is that I have been having a really hard time at my new job, and I want to quit at the end of most days, and don't even want to go to school at the beginning of all other days. And the only reason I am still going and not giving up is because I have a good support system down here of people that I can talk to, and bounce ideas off of, and keep me going. Other wise I would not still be going and be teaching high school math, which is exactly what I want to do.

I just want you both to be able to do exactly what you want to do and went to school for 4+ years for, and I know a friend with the same ideas/ goals would help.

So become friends and make it happen. Then come to SC and take awesome pictures of me... I mean the beautiful scenery and the ocean and the old buildings and the alligators!!

I miss you both and hope this made you smile that I'm thinking about you on a Saturday morning:)

UnnecessaryRoughness

Sometimes what you think is your goal is not really your goal at all. What you believe you are setting yourself out there to accomplish isn't anything obtainable for you.  Maybe it is obtainable, and conquerable, and attainable, but not satisfying.  You get there to your final destination and find yourself unsatisfied, and sadly unhappy also.  That void in which you have been trying to fill for any given amount of time is still empty. And here you are, alone. Alone and unhappy.  What was your original goal?  Are you covering it up by what you are now portraying? Are you showing an image of yourself that is untrue?

I keep crying at school.  haha funny right? Not so much.  Yesterday I was seriously, honestly, and totally bullied by another teacher.  She knows I'm a first year and that I truly have no idea what is going on, or how to do half of the things that they are asking of us. She also knew that I had first period and that I was not ready for it.  Yet she kept coming at me while in her office and telling me that I couldn't walk out.  She kept telling me all the things that I need to be doing and what I need to be doing better.  I was literally sobbing at this point, at about 7:55 in the morning, ten minutes before I had first period.  It was like she was enjoying it.  Normally I can be a big tough Anna, but not yesterday morning.  Yesterday I was just a big old overwhelmed baby.

What was my goal in becoming a teacher?  I feel like I have been reassuring myself for the last 7 years that this is really what I want to do.  I HATED my four student teaching experiences.  I remember at certain times during each one that I really hated it and did not want to become a teacher anymore.  I said that after substitute teaching too.  But then I went and got my masters in education. And now here I am teaching.  Teaching in a failing school that is projected to shut down at the end of next year because students are making any progress in their education.  Its not like I am one of the Teach for America people who were stuck in the school.  I chose this school.  Is this really my goal to be here?

When I cried during school this week, each time I took a look at myself and knew I was not upset about what was actually in front of me.  There is something else.  Something that I'm hiding from myself.  My goal now is to figure out what that is.  Figure it out and do something about it.  I'm clearly missing a part of me right now.  Athletics? Being outdoors? Being spunky and crazy.  I miss it.

I think I am going to leave this summer and go to another country for a month or so.  Go back packing somewhere.  Maybe someone will come with me?  I feel like I still have a lot to figure out and get better at.  Maybe I should have become an elementary teacher.  Maybe I shouldn't be a teacher at all.  If things don't get better in the next few months than I am definitely not doing this next year.  I shouldn't be unhappy all the time.  I have always told myself that I would not be like those people who work at a job that makes them miserable.  I also hate bringing my work home with me.  Wouldn't you?

Life changes bring up a lot of emotions.  Its been a while since I have had any stability in my life.  I wonder when that will come.  First I should probably figure out what stability is.  Find what is bothering me and meet it face to face.  Life is to short and is going by too fast for unnecessary roughness.

Moving on and moving Forward

There are so many things I enjoy about being here.  Even though its about 1000 degrees outside with 200% humidity, I still like being out there.  The trees are super cool, and the wind blowing through them is amazing. The sunsets are always phenomenal.  Worth it every night.  I am excited to spend my first late night outside looking up at the stars, listening to the wind, and feeling more and more at home.

Friday morning during my first period I met the interim math department head since we do not currently have one.  He is some guy from the district office who was apparently a teacher for 30 years.  Now he is the guy that comes into your classroom to observe with a huge clipboard and marks all of your smallest weaknesses wrong so you can correct them.  Well, I was taking my students out for a water break (Yes, I lined them up and walked them down the hall like they were in 3rd grade because that is how they were acting) and while I was in the hall I met the guy.  He introduced his big bad self and asked how I was doing.  I know, I know, sometimes I am too honest, but I told him I am taking it day by day, and it is getting better everyday (even though we were supposed to have turned in lesson plans for the next two weeks by last Monday.  What are they going to do? Fire me?) Well he lectured me on using the wrong book, and then lectured me on teaching the wrong topic right now.  REALLY! No one has helped me or even told me where to start, so guess what I did? Started at the beginning of the book I was given! I started to cry in the hallway right there... Woops. I walked back into class fanning my face and for the first time my students connected with me.  Instead of being little ghetto 9th graders who have to act all tough cause they need to save face, they talked to me like they were normal teenagers.  It was awesome.  They took their quiz with an average of 90% and were on their way.
2nd period was also amazing.  Yeah, half my kids were missing, but that is my WORST class. They talk as if I am not even there in the classroom.  On Thursday when we were supposed to be reviewing, there was one student on the class phone and another next to her standing on a desk. Did I mention that I have a special education teacher in that class? Yeah, she was standing right next to them and didn't say anything... Awkward for me when I got called down to the office to explain why my students were repeatedly calling.  But even Friday was better.  They had a little lower average on their quiz, but that is because they are the lower class.  They still all passed :)
4th period which is 17 males and 2 females was also really good.  I had tried to explain the topic of points, lines, and planes on Thursday, but they were a bit confused and lost through the powerpoint.  I started acting like I was playing football on Friday though and ran back and forth across the front of the room asking if my lines were coplanar and if the people in the audience were lines or points.  What about the goal post? Does that intersect the field?  AND I was having fun. It was a really good day.  Their average was high 80s, so sweet.  I even had a kid, one of the special ed kids, get a 100.  Thats a good feeling.
Well I have a 2 hour break in the middle of the day because 3rd period is my planning and then lunch. Classes are 90 minutes.  Well, that dude I was talking about before?  He took up my entire 2 hours talking to me.  Some was awesome and very helpful, the other parts where he was repeating repeating repeating himself and forgetting where he was going with his story were pretty annoying.  But I figured out what I am supposed to be teaching this week!  So planning for two of my classes only took about 3 hours just now instead of the normal 15 :)

On Friday I FINALLY got paid.  I was able to pay all my bills, and I still had some left over, so I decided to have a really fun filled and worry free weekend.  I was able to buy a real drink at happy hour with the other teachers, and even splurge for a real meal, not just the cheapest appetizer.  I even bought myself a coffee grinder :)
Yesterday I finally was able to enjoy the beach.  I bought an awesome chair, that is really for your back porch, but I figured I would use it for multiple things being that I have a back porch.  I got tan just like a lobster, and am ready to get maid fun of by all my kids who have never felt a sunburn before.  Things are looking up.  I can't wait til I can start leaving school before 7.  As long as I focus then I will be able to do it!  So back to focusing and writing my geometry lesson plans.  And making it fun and interesting so that I can keep bonding with my students.

Mad at Myself

South Carolina is awesome, I love it here.

Teaching math on the other hand? Not so awesome

I know, I know, its my first week.  But I don't even know where to start! What should I teach tomorrow in Geometry?  I have been working non stop on lesson plans, but for some reason I can't seem to get anywhere.  I need to plan for 90 minute classes, and I can't seem to fill up the time.  I need to get back to work and focus, I just wanted to update here and hope that writing it out will get it out of my mind and just let me focus.

Charleston rules, definitely a good decision to move here.

Welcome to SC

Woke up in the middle of the night because a roach was crawling on my face. That's right a cock roach!!!!!! I didn't realize it at first because it was a part of my dream, but I grabbed it and threw it off at the far wall. I slept the rest of the night with the light on. This morning the guy was belly side up in the bathroom, which is connected to my room with an open door. I picked him up and he was still moving! Yuck!! Flushed his creepy crawly ass down the toilet. I can't wait til my bed comes on Saturday so I don't have to sleep on the floor in roach zone.

Having trouble putting it into words

I've had a very interesting last two weeks.  To say the least.
Finding out who I am, and who is important to me.
Finding out what means more to me, and what I should be focusing on, or spending my time on.

Charleston was great.  I felt like I ruled that place; rolling on interviews and meeting amazing people.
I was offered two jobs.  Like not just offered, but begged to accept the position because they "couldn't let me go".

I found out that I have been 'wasting my time' on something for a while, and allowing my chest to hurt and my heart to ache for 3 months.  Why do I let myself fall into such traps?  In everything I do.  I pour my heart into something, only for it to not be reciprocated on the other end of the spectrum.  The thing is, you have to learn from it, grow from it, and change that small piece to make you into a better person, while not being fooled by someone else.  Maybe in the past you were annoying by calling all the time, and bugging the other person. Well, fix it.  Maybe you were too scared to express your feelings, so you just led them on and let them believe that you still liked them, and instead just hurt their feelings way more months later.  OK, so grow up, and don't do that anymore.  You can't just say, "well, that's who I am, and I do stuff like that." No.  Learn from it, and get better before next time. You don't have to go around breaking hearts or even causing the slightest bit of pain from not being able to properly express yourself.
I know that I am good at leading people on.  I was notorious for it back in the day, but guess what? I don't do it anymore.  I try to open myself up, or at least allow the other person to know where I am coming from.  I can't date right now.  I'm leaving.  How many times have I said that? I actually have lost count.  I feel like I am always leaving.  My great friend Sara once expressed it to me that she felt like she was always leaving people, always leaving home, leaving college, leaving friends as soon as you become close with them.  I certainly feel that here.  Leaving Chelsea, leaving Sam, and most importantly leaving Scarlet.
Now, I am not saying I had my heart broken.  I knew a while ago that things were clearly not working out, and I was not surprised by the way things ended.  But still for some reason it hurt so bad. A pain in my chest and in my stomach telling me that I needed some closure, needed to know where it went wrong.
A lot of great things have happened this summer.  A lot of things I am really proud of, and a lot of people I am really glad to have met and made such wonderful relationships with. I am glad that I made it through this summer and my interviews.  By the way, I felt amazing in my interviews.  I have never felt more proud of myself and the achievements that I have made in the last 6 years.  I guess I didn't realize how many different jobs I have had, and how many kids lives I have touched.  Being able to share my stories of my favorite experiences and have someone tell me that what I have done is incredible is beyond me.  I never thought that a school would be fighting to have me as a teacher. To be offering me extra incentives to choose that school over the other one.  I felt freaking amazing in Charleston.  I can't wait to be there.

I am having a hard time saying goodbye to people here.  I might just peace out.  Not say goodbye, just leave.  I'm having a hard time expressing my feelings towards people, and really telling them how it is and how I feel. I am excited to go home.  I'm excited to see those people at home.  I'm excited to sleep in my bed.  But I am way more excited to sleep in my brand new bed in Charleston.  Its gonna be great

Wherever You Go; There You Are

Wherever you go... I go a lot of places.  There you are...  Here I am.

Here I am. I am in Denver, Colorado.  I have been back and forth between Colorado Springs, Denver, Boulder, and Frisco, and am getting the most out of this place.  Camping two nights this week with awesome friends.  Watching Scarlet for three days, and Ava for the other two. Swing Dancing tomorrow night. Hiking on Tuesday with Ali. Looking forward to an excellent night out with Sammy on Friday. Dreaming of South Carolina and the new chapter that is going to start in my life. I fly out there on Sunday morning, and my new roommate, Haley, is picking me up from the airport. My interview is Monday morning at 9.  I don't even have my portfolio or anything with me, I left it all in Saugerties.
I'm kind of nervous about the whole transition.  There is going to be a lot of driving, and visiting friends in between my trip from here to Saugerties, and then down to Charleston. I'm not even sure how long I will be home for before I go down to Charleston.  That will be stressful, but once I know and can make plans that will take some pressure off.
I fly back here next Thursday.  That way I will have 4 full days in Charleston to explore and check out my new place, and also 2 very necessary days with Jordan. It will be nice to get so many things situated and figured out.

So I go a lot of places.  I talked to one of my best friends today, after almost a year of being out of touch, and she didn't even know where I was living.  Is it really possible to be so many places and not put any roots down, so people don't even know where you are? Something I have tried to do, no matter where I go, is establish myself.  Make more friends, get a job, pay some taxes, meet a fabulous guy (no that was just Hawaii).  I usually have a great place to stay, even is it is an air mattress or a couch.  I haven't really been able to call anywhere home, but here I am, and that is most important.

I'm nervous to be a real teacher, I have kind of gotten out of the whole school scene over the last year. Do I really want to be a teacher?  We'll see.  I am probably going to love it.  I'll compare all of my equations to pantries, and make up strange ways to remember things.  It will be great.  And the classroom will be my own.  And There I will be.

Make Good Choices

Taking a commercial break from life can be beneficial, but it seems like parties involved don't end up on the brighter end of the spectrum. 

Sorry is not a word that I am very good at using.  Its not that I don't use it, I know that often, when I am using it, it ends up being a very loose term, or a word that I know another person is searching to hear.  What does sorry really mean?  Does it mean that you promise to never do something again? Or that you truly feel guilty for something you just did or a pain you just caused? Or for making a mess, or leaving things out?
I find myself saying sorry when I don't even mean it. When I'm brushing Scarlet's hair and there is a pull or when I am forcing her to take one more bite of the healthy portion of her dinner... There are other times too, when you find yourself trying to appease another person when you know that is what they want to hear. Why is it so difficult to just say it like you mean it?
I have a hard time sitting with someone and hearing a one sided argument to a conversation.  Taking in all of the bad things about you that need to be changed; all of your faults, flaws, and downsides. Where do all of those feelings come from.  Do I actually need to change some of the fundamental values of myself? Or is it something deeper in them that they are not telling me and want me to feel bad first in order for them to work up the courage to tell me.  I am not sure. 
What I do know is that I have not made the best choices lately.  That is very obvious to me, and for that I am sorry.  I'm sorry that I let one of my closest friends down, and have not been there to make it better.  Instead I'm hiding. I don't want to sit through another session of how Anna needs to make herself a better person, I want to have an actual conversation and not feel like I'm in high school.  I don't want to get yelled at, I just want to talk.
I hate hiding behind closed doors, and wanting to run away.  All I feel right now is that I want to move away, that I am done with Colorado and its time for me to move on.  That is not a solution.  That is not a route that I am allowed to take.  But I know it is hard for me to take that first step.  I gotta stop feeling upset and instead fix the issue.  Try an make things better.
I'm here when you are ready to talk, I figure it would be best to make sure all steam has blown off, and things are ready to fall into place, whenever that may be.

Healthy and Sane

Sometimes we just need help right?  Some accountability for our actions, or just someone to put their arm around you and tell you its ok.  Its one thing to be healthy in body - with respect to eating, weight loss, how you look, blah blah blah, but its another huge thing to be healthy in mind and soul.  How you really feel about something, how mindful you are being with respect to your emotional health.  What you are feeding your body should help to fuel you, make you have a better day, be more alert, and more responsive. Your body is going to look however it chooses to look, its your job to take care of it. 
I've been pretty broke lately.  I have made $20 last me almost 2 weeks now.  Thank God Keysa filled up my gas tank, and I was able to buy some eggs, milk, yogurt, peanut butter, and bananas.  For the last week I was only driving to Hapa sushi and back, and living somehow on a diet of 1 free meal from Hapa and protein shakes (yogurt, milk, ice, protein powder, spinach, peanut butter, and random fruits from the freezer). I'm super skinny now, and can see and feel myself kinda wasting away.  I know its not good for me, but sometimes its just how life works itself out.
But that is the body side of health - I'm more concerned with the soul side of health.  I've been strangely miserable.  Not in a "Wow Anna, are you ok? You seem sad today." kind of miserable, more like I have been crying myself to sleep on occasion, and being super unhappy when I am in the car alone. I have been so stressed about Hapa, and learning that entire 89 piece menu with every ingredient for every item on the menu. Then, at work last night it got crazy busy and someone told me the wrong table number so I delivered a huge plate of sushi to the wrong table, introduced every item, and then they still ate it all! Even though they knew it wasn't there's. Well of course the person who told me the number didn't get blamed, that fell on me instead.  I broke down as soon as I got in the car last night.  I called 3 of my most important people in the world, (who were also in a good time zone) and Jordan, Heather, and Inch all didn't answer.  It made me think about it on my own.  Really figure it out in my head as I drove home with the music off. 
I decided this morning to get my butt in gear and really show them who I am.  I rolled in a bit early for the opening 10 a.m. shift and helped set up.  The lady who I was training with came in at 11:30 and decided it was time to major quiz me on things.  She started flying through Japanese words and asking me what type of fish they were and then rolls asking me to describe them to her.  Like rapid fire fast.  I don't do well under pressure like that, especially  not from a peer.  I shut down.  Suddenly didn't know any of them (even though I totally do). And started crying.  UGH! I hate when I start crying like that.  It always happens so fast and so easily! Well, she cut that quizing shit out and we hit the floor to greet our few tables.  I always do fine at that.  I'm great with the customers, they joke and laugh with me, I slam dishes on the table too hard, I pick things up the wrong way, I stutter when I'm talking sometimes, I spill water when I try to refill glasses, I somehow always drop their credit cards on the floor, and the customers love me. I was planning on taking that ridiculous test on Saturday, and it was just really starting to get to me.
WHY am I spending so much time training and learning how to work at a place that I will only be at for 4 weeks? WHY am I training for over 30 hours a week to get paid less than minimum wage for these hours with no tips? WHY am I working somewhere where the other servers treat me like I'm an idiot and think that their job is some of the hardest things in the world? WHY am I trying to work at a restaurant that is only going to give me maybe 3 tables during lunch and no dinner shifts? Training for over 2 weeks to only get 3 tables, which means about $20 in tips every shift after pay out? No thank you.  Jordan sent me a text message that said "Fuck them, you have your masters and its a damn sushi joint. Do not sweat the small stuff".  I'm so hard on myself, I always have been. This was not one of those time where I should be though.  Not the right place for any of my time and effort.
I worked today from 10 - 2, got a dragon roll for lunch, and went to sit at the bar to enjoy it.  I started thinking about quitting, and how I can just babysit for the rest of my month.  I started feeling so much better. Sweet, sweet freedom.  This was the answer.  I called Heather to clarify, and yes I had made the correct decision, I was ending my short term stay at Hapa.  I was supposed to come back in at 5 to train, but I told my manager I wouldn't make it.  I said (while trying so super hard not to freakin cry) a million thank you's for giving me the opportunity, and training me to be an excellent server, but this (and patted the menu) is just to much, and its not worth it to me.  I got to keep my shirt, my apron, and my book, so that was awesome, and then I had the rest of the night to play with Scarlet, clean, and do Insanity.
It actually was all in the plans though for me anyway I guess.  I will now be watching/hanging out with Scarlet on Mondays and Fridays all day so that the dad can have a break and Sam can feel good about who is watching her daughter. 
Healthy in mind, body, and soul.  I feel much better now.

Crying during TV shows

Maybe its just because I want what they have, or I have watched to many concurrent episodes that I really start to feel for the characters, but I seem to get pretty emotional during television shows.  I don't think that's a bad thing.  It shows I have a little bit of heart, care about some other people a little bit more than myself.  But man, sometimes, especially when they are all falling in love, that is when I really want what they have.  Crazy.  It must be the director/writers fault.  I blame them completely.  They know exactly how to hook me in. 

So I am home babysitting for Scarlet right now.  She is totally asleep, and has been for an hour. I'm so glad I am so good with kids, its gotta be a special knack or talent that I was given, cause boy it is helpful.  We ate a full bowl of peas together while her fork became a train, airplane, and steam boat.  She cheered after every bite.  It must be awesome to be a two year old.

I guess I am also pretty natural at being a server, even at a place as strict as Hapa Sushi.  The last two people I trained with couldn't believe that I don't have any experience, and think I should get my own shifts in no time.  I'm pretty pumped about that. As long as I start getting shifts soon.  I have $20 left in my bank, with 700 in my savings for my security deposit in Charleston.  I can only use my gas to get me to Hapa and back, and other than that I am basically gonna eat as little as possible and hang out near the apartment a lot.  Luckily there is a gorgeous park less than a mile away.  When you are training you don't make tips, and I wont see a paycheck for about another 3 weeks.

I figured out Charleston though, and will be living with an awesome girl names Haley.  She sounds EXACTLY like my best friend from when I was a toddler, Emma.  So I know it is going to be a great match.  I just gotta fax in my lease agreement and then I will be good to go.  Sadly, I can't find a fax other than at Fed Ex and there it costs $3 a sheet (I have 5) so I can't even afford to fax it back right now.  I am thinking that I am going to walk into random office buildings tomorrow and ask them if they will fax it for me.  I bet I could con my way into something sweet like that.  We'll see how it goes.  I can't wait to get off that plane, exactly one month from today.  Not only will I get to meet my new roommate who is so excellently picking me up from the airport, but on Tuesday, after exactly 3 months, I wont have to do long distance anymore.

Testing after your masters

I finished school right?? How come I have to take another test? Oh cause I'm working at a high end restaurant apparently. Well here are just a few of the blank pages of the test I'll have to take. Ugh. I'm making note cards right now. Don't worry.

Figuring out my workouts

I don't want to work out unless I enjoy it.  While some people would say "Ya, Ya, me too" And then laugh/scoff at me, other people would understand. I love working out. When my friends bring me to random classes I almost always enjoy it.  I most always love running. I love yoga, pilates, and spinning.  I love love organized sports.  Now here is my dilemma. I dont so much mind going to the gym and working out alone, but that would mean I would need to acquire a gym membership.  Yoga, pilates, and spinning classes all cost money, or you need to be a member, I'm broke.  Running is free, but it can get pretty repetitive, and I tend to push myself to hard and re-injure my feet from college.  I really miss crossfit, but I am going to have a tough time going to that with out Mary. I was talking to Jordan about this last night.  No offense to anyone, but I started going with Mary, and it was awesome, and so great, and I don't think I wanna do it out here without here.  I would be nervous to go in by myself.  And once again currently I am broke... CrossFit costs mucho dollores.
I just need to get out of the apartment when I am here this summer.  Its not that I don't want to, but I get locked out if I leave the main door downstairs. I gotta get myself a pair of keys.  Like yesterday, I didn't have to leave for work until 11 and I was up way before 8. I wanted to go do a workout outside, or a run, but I would get locked out.  While I could have done yoga or similar things inside, I instead made excuses for myself and sat right here on the couch, blogged, and found a sweet apartment with a really cool sounding girl. I need to not allow myself to do that.  So when I get off of my blogging train today, I am going to do a workout inside.  I can do that, I really need to also. My back hurt super bad yesterday at work, and I can promise that is from not doing anything active since Thursday.
What I would really really love to do is when I move to Charleston in like 7 weeks (Yikes!) I want to start boxing.  I think it would be sweet, and I probably have some underlying anger inside me. Definitely want to do some kick boxing.  I know I will be able to go with Jordan to the gym. So I just gotta figure out a schedule.  Oh! And sign up for a dang volleyball team.  I have my volleyball here, so now I just need to get ballsy and go up to people who are playing at the park and ask to join.  I've been shy about that for some reason, needs to be fixed!

Working another double today at Hapa. mmmm more free food!

Ass Back Home

Open this to listen to while you read :)  I really want to learn how to sign this whole song, but they rap to fast!

I have a job interview July 16th in Charleston, SC, and another one lined up for sometime that week :) It is for a high school math teacher, which is what I originally went to school for.  A regular Ed classroom though.  I really want to teach in sign language, to awesome deaf kids, but I guess that will have to wait.  Its more important for me to get my foot in the door, get in the district, and then search out the job I want for next year.  What they do in most districts is take all of the applications for teachers that are already working in the district and need to be moved around, or want to be moved around first, and interview them for all available positions.  Then they start considering new applicants.  Since I am a new applicant, new teacher, and do not have my SC license, I am the last on the list.  Luckily this place seems to really need math teachers.  So I have to do a damn good job this year, and hopefully will be a shoo in for an inclusive deaf classroom next year.

I have been emailing people about apartments like crazy.  Its not so expensive to live down there, so hopefully food wont be either! I originally wanted to live alone, but I think it would be better for me to live with some girls (pray for drama free and clean) to be able to make friends faster and not get super lonely.  I think it would be awesome to be able to walk around in just a towel and cook in my underwear, but that will just have to wait til later! I'm excited though because I know I am going to have a blast down there, and get to walk the beach again.

I start today at Hapa Sushi.  I'm actually really nervous.  I laid out my clothes/uniform last night and have everything ready to go.  I train for a whole week at all of the different positions and have to take a super long test at the end! Crazy! They give you a blank menu and you have to write all the names and ingredients down! Its like 5 pages! And you have to know the Japanese for a lot of it too!! I have to work 3 doubles this week and then one more on Sunday and then I take the test.  I'll only be working there for a little over a month, so this will be interesting! I hope I make some good money though, I am pretty darn broke right now.

So last night Sam and Chelsea left me home alone while they went to Jazz in the park (my stupid dumb ass back hurt so I didn't go).  What happens when you leave Anna home alone? She cuts her own bangs.  Now I had side swept bang things that I used to cut myself in college, and they were cool and all, but I always looked so young and kinda snotty. haha I think I had normal bangs when I was super little, and I probably cut those myself too... Well, I decided I needed to do something new on Saturday, had to make a change to help me deal with other stuff, and bangs was the answer! I watched a youtube video and then cut away.  Now my hair looks even white/blonder, making me look even more like a tow head :)

Mission Impossible *A Two week trip to the Rocky Mountain, Grand Canyon, Arches, and Back*

So about 2 weeks ago Keysa and I left to start our adventure, and her vacation time. The first stop we made was in Rocky Mountain National Park.  We set up camp and quickly realized that our tent had no poles, so we rigged it up to a tree in our site.  We met two awesome guys who were camping near by, and ended up giving us the rope to secure our tent. We hung out at their site drinking some beers and talking about life.  One was a firefighter and just the right age for Keysa, and I tried to hook them up, but you can only do so much being the youngest. Its not my fault he didn't utilize the fact that I gave him her number!

We stayed for a night and did a sweet hike on the bear lake trail up to about 12,000 feet where there was lots of snow.  The original plan was so to hike Greys and Torreys the next morning, but at 14,000 feet at the peak it would be way too cold! And snowy! So we changed direction and decided to drive to some Hot Springs, on recommendation of the firefighter.
We rolled into Hot Sulfur Springs and realized very quickly that it was one of the sketchiest places we had ever been to.  The springs were basically straight out of the 70's and clothing was optional after 9 pm.  It also was like $18 just to get in, so we thought maybe we would just set up camp instead. We couldn't figure out where to pay and went to ask a fellow camper. Creepiest man ever, the first words out of his mouth were "Sexy Legs..." Eww  He was holding a glass of "orange juice" and had a monstrous beer belly.  We escaped from there pretty quickly, and headed for Steamboat Colorado where there are even better hot springs.  We managed to find a sweet campground with a fox that kept walking through our site and didn't have to pay.
We went to the Strawberry Fields Springs the next day, and were accompanied only by old people, asians, and couples.  Quite the experience.  At least we got to get our hair wet, it had been 3 days... 10,500 feet definitely gets to you after a little while and starts to make you feel funny, so we started on our way back to Boulder and got to Kate's by 9.  Perfect timing.
I went to the Bon Iver and Feist concert on Thursday night, which was totally amazing.  Bottles of wine in the parking lot with Heather and Jen, it was a great experience at Red Rocks.
We left the next morning for the Canyon. We stopped to get a real tent from Dave's parents house, this one had poles. Then stopped in C Springs to see Alec who just arrived! YAY.  Now for a 12 hour trip... We tried to find camping that night, but every where we stopped was super ghetto or creepy.  We ended up sleeping in a Walmart parking lot in Durango, not so bad.  We debated setting up the tent, but decided that may not be safe enough.
Saturday we started early after a brief stop at a coffee shop, and me launching one of our coffees off my trunk.  We made it to four corners, which connects Colorado, Arizona, Utah, and New Mexico at about 11, and had a blast there.  I think most people just stop in, but we stayed there for a while taking pictures, meeting sweet old guys (one was a bio teacher for 16 years and then up and quit to move to Denver because he had had enough!), doing a 4 Corners WOD, and buying sweet jewelry.  Four corners was definitely a great experience.

An Elk waiting for the mens bathroom!

We made our way to the Canyon which was only about 3 hours further.  Its so wonderful  and breath taking there.  My favorite part was how quiet it was at our campsite even though there are so many other people around.  Its like everyone just knows to be quiet.  We did the Hermits Rest hike which was about 5 miles total to the springs we went to and back.  And in the morning went and got backcountry permits to go down into the canyon along with a campsite.  We met two guys on the bus back to our campground, and that night ended up staying up way to late with them laughing around the fire and hula hooping/jump roping under the full moon.

We had to be up at 5 to start our hike into the canyon so we could catch the right bus to the trail and get some distance before the sun became too strong.  We should have woken up at 4... The difference in degrees was about 30 degrees more from the top of the canyon down into the middle.  Holy Lord I was sweating my butt off.  We finally made the 7.1 mile down the South Kiabab Trail hike down to our campsite after about 5 1/2 hours, and a little bit of rest.  It was so ridiculously hot at the camp, about 114, and all I wanted to do was sleep.  I laid down in the tent on my sleeping bag and basically just sweated on it for hours and got a bit of rest. Then I laid in my hammock and tried to read, but finally fell asleep for a while. Keysa hung out in the freezing cold stream, brilliant idea.  When I woke up I sat down in it and dunked my head in and it felt so good! I just continuously got my hair wet for the rest of the day and after a dinner of tuna and avocado we finally fell asleep.
We woke up at 4, an hour late, packed up, and headed out of the canyon.  We wanted to get as far as we could up the 9 mile Bright Angle Trail before the sun came on to strong at 5:30.  We granny shuffled our butts up the trail for a full 7 hours, and finally reached the top when it was still morning. We got our heads wet the whole way up, so at least we looked presentable, we were on day 5 of not showering... We had the car packed already and ready to go, so we headed out for Arches National Park. Keysa slept the 6 hour drive up, while I listened to a book on cd and surveyed the beautiful scenery.
We got an awesome campsite near the water, and paid $12 for two nights. Wednesday morning we woke up, hit up the central market, bought some steak, shrimp, vegetables, and post cards. We used the parking lot for our own personal training room, and were photographed by a sketchy guy who told us we were "sexy". Yikes!  We kept our food super cold all day in the truck by wrapping it with blankets like my mom taught me.

Cool Cool! Again!

Arches National Park is amazing. We did a great 4 mile loop hike to see the Double O Arch and climbed on top of it to form our own arch doing back bends. I was doing for a picture with Keysa and these Asians saw me and yelled "Cool Cool! Again!" So I made Keysa do it with me so we could get a great picture!  That night at our campsite we met two guys from Boston.  Two super tall guys, one was 6' 3" the other was 6' 7"! After we made dinner we went over to hang out with them and sat around the fire for hours laughing and making them talk in their "library voices".
The next morning they came over for breakfast and we had a gigantic feast of left over steak, eggs, and bacon.  The bacon destroyed the pan that the boys brought, so we didn't actually end up eating it. We went to wash off our dishes in the stream and found this fantastic wall of rock that had old petroglyphs on it.  Sadly a bunch of stupid kids had carved some of their own initials into it also. The sign explained that back in the day, to get to higher ground, the men would put logs into a large crack in the wall in a diagonal pattern and use them to climb up.  Well this 5 foot deep, 50 feet tall crack that we found with logs in it seemed possible to climb up and it was obvious that others had done it before us.  We had the boys go first, with Keysa third, and me pulling up in the rear.  One of the logs I needed to reach didn't have anywhere for me to put my feet so I actually did a full muscle up to get up onto it! Super sweet.  At the top, the very last one, I pulled myself up, and got my feet up there, but was off balance with my big booty sticking to far out behind me. I started falling backwards, and in one of the absolute scariest moments of my life thought I might not make it. Out of no where, Jim stuck out his hand and grabbed mine and pulled me up.  I couldn't believe it, my heart was super pumping.  The way back down was very intense also.  I went second to map out a path for keysa, and was definitely in some very scary and sketchy positions at moments.  I made it with Matt, the super tall one, giving me a hand.  We walked back to the car and said good bye to our new adventurous friends, as they were headed to Yosemite, and we were headed home.











 What seemed like an impossible mission, traveling all over the place in two weeks, sustaining, not fighting, having a blast, and making WHAT?!?! poses all over the place turned out to be a blast.  I'm so glad Keysa flew out to travel with me.  And that I made enough money bartending at Bob's to finance myself. It was super fun, and I hope more people have the chance to camp in random areas, and hike down into the Grand Canyon with super heavy packs on their backs and not enough sleep :)

Blogging from Steamboat

Keysa and I are in Steamboat Springs Colorado. We slept in a tent for the second night in a row and froze our butts off!! We went to Strawberry Park Hot Springs this morning and are now enjoying coffee together in the sun:)