Talk about being Happy

Two weeks left.  Crazy how fast time goes.  I've been here for five months.  I'm barely ever home anymore though.  Jordan and I have been doing crazy amounts of activities lately because his friend is visiting from Maryland.  We've packed in so much fun stuff into not enough time!  The only problem with that is that time has been going by really fast. So my days seem really short, even though I've been waking up between five and six everyday.  Yesterday was Jordan's birthday and it was a freakin blast.  We had an awesome breakfast, both guys got to nap, pb and j for lunch, a hike to a waterfall where Tim got to jump off, a really nice fancy dinner, and then out to a cool ass bar call Rum Fire where I had a Lava Flow delicious concoction!  Yum!

Its a cool feeling being sure of yourself with someone.  Feeling super comfortable, and knowing that you can say whatever on your mind (which I do anyway) and not have to worry about that person judging you in a rude, mean, or upsetting way.  Its not very often when you are able to just be yourself.  You know how at school you have to be proper, can't say the wrong things in front of other teachers, or let them think that you don't know as much as they do. When I was at the bar I wasn't necessarily on my best behavior, it was more that I had to be more accepting of things that I might not normally be comfortable with.  Luckily I could dress exactly how I wanted to with bright colors, spandex shorts, and knee socks.  Even at crossfit I feel like I have to act tougher than I am.

Actually it seems like every place I move I am a little different part of me.  The way I dress most specifically, not so much how I act.  I display the different sides of me.  Pants in Rochester, dresses at home, spandex in Hawaii, teachers clothes in New Mexico, anything but normal clothes in Australia.  I like the me that is here.  I like how I feel in what I wear and how comfortable and confident I am in what I am wearing.

I like how comfortable and confident Jordan makes me feel. Its pretty awesome actually.  It makes me wonder what I was doing with some of the past guys that I was dating...  Ones that didn't make me feel appreciated, or weren't trying to impress me after the first few days. Its not that easy to win someone over, its kind of like a lifetime thing.  Make them feel awesome forever and they should (or at least I will) treat them accordingly.  Relationships are a two way street.  Why would you not want to do a million and one awesome things for the person you are with?  Why would you instead get in a huge fight with them because they dont want to stay out as late as you, and they didn't bring you any beer home?? (this weekends discoveries of bad relationships 101) Treat other people how you want to be treated.  As Momma Gena has taught me, "If you are confident in your body, feel great in what your wearing, you emit an aura of awesomeness and people will notice.  If your man calls you a goddess and treats you like one then the way you treat him will make amazing results."  And then time together will be that much better.

Jordan is the first mature guy I've been with, and he has his shit together.  Oh boy oh boy I'm excited!

On another note, Take life how it comes and enjoy it.  You only live once, so if on your birthday you want to go on a hike instead of the gym then freakin enjoy it.  Whats more memorable; going to the gym, which you do everyday, or hike to a beautiful waterfall deep in the woods.  If you want to eat brownies for breakfast one day, fuck it, get right on in there! If a movie sounds really good and your bed is looking extra comfy, just enjoy it.  Life goes so fast, and you'll find yourself working really hard, especially sometimes at jobs that you don't really even enjoy. Enjoy the time off, and smell the warm breeze around you.  As the great poet Keysa once said, "Life is a marathon, not a sprint."  Take it slow and look around.  You might find something exciting, or even the "one" :)

Flight tickets home

Leaving Monday night the 16th, getting in Tuesday night.  Have a friend picking me up from the airport in Newark, then heading up to Saugerties. Plan on leaving New York on the 19th.  Let's see how all this pans out...

I am gonna miss this

It's finally hitting me how I've taken for granted some really great things about being out here. My goal is to stop everyday and take a really deep breath and take in what's around me instead of just looking past it or through it. Feel the wind on my skin and enjoy those sensations that don't come your way everyday. Today was eye opening in general, but last night we hiked the pillboxes and it reminded me of why i love being up there with the wind blowing through my hair. With nothing important enough at that very moment to make me rush or skip that last little bit of breeze as you come along the last bend and the last viewpoint.

Moral of the story is to stop and breathe deep. <3

Don't forget

Sunset on the Marine Corps Base

Lying in my hammock enjoying my favorite Beach and a few rays of sun.

Back to Reality

I can't believe its been ten days.  Eric left for Missouri which was pretty hard at first because I was so used to seeing him everyday. Dropping him off at the airport was the worst because it was so sad to just see him go.  It was like leaving a lot of my friends.  I hate driving away and looking for that last wave goodbye.  It makes me so incredibly sad to say goodbye to people.  Something very important to me though IS that last wave, like when someone is pulling away and they look back and wave that one last extra time.  That is a huge sign of friendship to me. I am not surprised how fast I pulled my shit back together after I watched him go though. I immersed myself in some more work and hung out with some good friends.
Thursday a friend and I went for a late night drive to talk about life and ended up climbing this random tree and just hanging out and talking late into the night while watching the moon cross the sky.  Then Friday morning there was this amazing hail storm here with flooding and thunder and lightning.  I wish I had my camera and had braved the rain and wind to take some amazing photos.  Instead I needed to catch a few Z's before Crossfit.
Holy crap CrossFit. I think I am almost overdoing it.  My quads feel like they are going to tear, which is not exactly a good kind of soreness. I like being in good shape and able to flex my biceps, but I also think I need to calm down a bit. I enjoy the workouts though, its nice to have someone else pushing you that hard.  I can't wait to be a coach someday and push other people to their limits and make them achieve things they wouldn't otherwise think that they could.
I worked 5 shifts last week and am going to work another 5 this week. The money is nice and good, but sometimes its a little excessive how much I am at that dang bar.  I like being a bartender though.  I really really enjoy it actually.  But I need to spend my last bit of time here more wisely.
Yesterday Keysa, Mary, and I did a really fun CrossFit workout at the park and busted our butts for 15 minutes. Then I went surfing with Keysa, Jak, and Jordan afterwards where I got totally sunburnt! haha what else is new. We went to see This Means War afterwards which was actually a really funny movie.

I'm pretty happy right now actually. I have a smile on my face, and a full belly thanks to the frittata I just had. I like the people that I'm hanging out with here, and where I am in "life" before moving to Colorado in two months.  I knew that I would be 'fine' when Eric left. I'm always fine. Not that our time together wasn't awesome and totally worth it, but maybe I'm just not ready yet.  Time to move on with my life.  Buying a plane ticket for JFK for April 10th...

Building Legos with my boys

Sweet sweet Friday night :)