Enjoying what you have - Don't take it for granted

Let me start with saying that there are over 100 people who read my blog.  That is just so cool.  There are people from 5 different countries, of course most from the US, but still, super awesome and it makes me feel like I should write something worth while.

I'm at Cassie's Aunt Beth's house for the night, so that we can wake up early and enjoy the day tomorrow, do some yoga, get massages, and spend some necessary time with her awesome grandpa.  How is it possible that you can be so healthy, take care of yourself, eat right, work out, do awesome things for other people, live a great life, do amazing deeds, and still have something that takes you earlier than necessary.

Life is so confusing that way, and I just don't really understand it.  I never really knew my grandparents, and have really never known anyone very well that has died.  I guess I haven't really been to too many funerals, and even if I have, its always been for someone that I wasn't really that close with.  I struggle to wrap my mind about it, so in turn I get very awkward when I am in situations when people are talking about it.  I never know what to say.  Thank goodness for hugs, because I have found that to be a good way to escape things, I hope I can keep it like that, and not say the wrong thing in the wrong situation.
What I am getting at here is that I need to enjoy what is given to me a lot more.  I feel like I am cheating the system by all of the things I have been able to do, and all of the things in my future.  I wish that everyone could appreciate the now instead of dreading it.  Who knows what is going to happen today tomorrow or next week.

My original plan for this post was to talk about Hawaii.  A lot of people have been asking me about Why I  left Hawaii, Why I didn't stay, and Will I go back? Well here is the long and the short of it.  I left because I knew this summer in Colorado will be amazing, and I just felt it was my time to go. I would love to go back and visit, but I don't think that I would ever move there, or stay for longer than I already did.  I noticed after a very short time that I wasn't necessarily appreciating what I had right outside my door.  I think this would be the problem with living in Hawaii.  Where do you vacation when you live in paradise?  I loved it loved it there, don't get me wrong, but I loved it there for some very important reasons.  My awesome sister, a new best friend and an amazing boyfriend that found me.  I loved it there because there are SO many things to do, and I would continue to do as many things as possible, but let's be realistic, I was unemployed for the last month that I lived there.  Once you are employed time seems to slip away, you no longer can just go out any time of day for a hike, and convincing your sister to call in sick from work means you also would have to call in sick. Weekends are then your only free time, and it is definitely hard to get yourself out to the beach every weekend.  Weird I know, all of you mainlanders are saying.  But that is true business.  I think I went almost a month with out enjoying the full beauty of Hawaii's finest beaches (which is .5 miles from my apartment) and that was only because I was exhausted from working about 14 days straight and then 11 more after that.  March was rough as you can tell from my inability to blog.  I guess what I am saying, to all of you who ask me why I am back in NY and not in HI, I may look like I belong there, and totally fit the blonde, surfer babe part, but its just not my home.  I need to make myself a home. I want a bed. That bed is in my future, and I see it coming!

Words of wisdom from Aunt Beth - Don't bring drama into your life.  Just live in the here and now, and don't worry so much about the future.  When the future comes you can handle it and embrace what comes. -  I have been worrying so much about the end of this summer and where I will get a job.  I have been working my butt off for the applications to Charleston to be 100% complete and sending in all of my necessary stuff.  Apparently I am still missing a few things and I am so worried that is going to ruin my chances of getting a teaching job there.  That would be worst thing.  But really what am I so nervous about?  I am ecstatic after a 20 minute conversation with a certain someone and giggle the entire time.  I shouldn't be so worried about what the end of this summer will bring.  Maybe I will get hired, maybe I wont.  If I don't, I shouldn't even worry, I'm Anna Banana and I will get a job no matter what.  Like Aunt Beth said, I'm just gonna live in the now and enjoy it, and see what it brings me :)